Then you have to try "hopping up" onto the bed with some kind of dignity while "the girl" holds up a large towel in front of her, ostensibly for the sake of discretion, but I reckon it's so she can have a good ol' titter behind it! Still, I made it, at which point she proceeded to rub me all over with a body scrub (felt like being sand-blasted), but I have to say she was very professional and it did feel good. After that you have to get into the shower to wash the Sahara desert out of all the weird places before she then rubs
But talking of "silly", I saw this joke today and it tickled me so I sent it to my lovely Dutchman.
Paddy and Mick are walking down the road and Paddy has a bag of doughnuts in his hand. Mick says he's starvin' so Paddy says to Mick: "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have both of 'em."
With all due apolo … nah, sod that! Anyone who's ever seen Dara O'Brien will know that the Irish have the greatest sense of humour! So anyway, my lovely Dutchman wrote back and said that he has just been invited to an open house/drinks do and was asked to bring along "booze and nipples" as his contribution! That shouldn't be too difficult I guess!
On another note, I know I've always been naive, but I think I'm slowly "coming of age". But still, I was somewhat shocked to learn that the RNC had paid out $100,000 to buy copies of Trump Jr.'s book! Way to make it to the best-seller list I guess, but seriously? Which reminds me of the court battle a couple of years ago between the repugnant, to me, Charles Saatchi and his then wife (I think they were still married at the time), the lovely Nigella. The court case had to do with alleged theft by two of their employees, but the trial was quite an eye opener. One of the "highlights" of the case was when a "private" text message between the two of them - in which he referred to her as "High-gella" - oops - and the fact that she had once taken cocaine when her first husband was dying - "accidentally" became public knowledge. Assuming that was indeed a private text message and it was never in her best interests to have it become public knowledge, it makes one wonder who on earth could possibly have leaked it! What came out of that trial for me, though, was that (a) Nigella wasn't exactly the desperately busy single mother dashing home from a hard day's work to effortlessly put together a dinner party for 30, but also that (b) she came over as a very generous and likeable person - quite the opposite of Saatchi! What also came out during that trial, though, was that after his book was published, his two assistants were sent around London in a taxi to buy up all copies of his "best-selling" book! Well colour me gullible but I never realized that happened! And talking of "gullible", someone once told me that the Oxford English Dictionary had decided to delete the word "gullible" from its latest edition because of lack of use! Can you imagine that!
And finally, somewhere in all my travails I seem to have lost one of my lovely wooly slippers. There just might be a suspicious looking "bump" under the new tiling by the front door, but I do hope somebody didn't do a "Jimmy Hoffa" on it!