Old lady brain?

After sorting out my "car problems" the other day I've slowly been looking up what all the "gadgets" and buttons are - so far so good. I don't know if I mentioned previously that when I tried to wash the bird poop/fly guts off my windscreen I couldn't get that to work so after figuring out where the washer reservoir was (it's well hidden and nowhere near where you might think it would be) I decided to check it, only to find that it had been delivered to me empty - no wonder the bloody thing wouldn't work! So while problems are often caused by my old lady brain, they aren't always!

When I chose this model I told them that I didn't want electric, and that was when the salesman told me that my model only came with a hybrid petrol/LPG (liquefied petroleum gas) engine. I thought LPG was only for trucks but he laughed and said that no, it was for cars too. When I asked what the difference was, turns out it's the price, as (I'm discovering) LPG sells for around 50% of what regular unleaded sells for!!! Trouble is, there aren't many garages round here that sell it but there are two that do near the lake at Passy and since I'm down there quite often, it shouldn't be a problem for me to fill up. So I finally found a suitable garage and gingerly went to fill up on LPG. (Side note: the French call LPG, GPL and I'm pretty sure I went into one station and asked if they sold GLP - she must have scratched her head when she heard me asking if they sold Ozempic)! Anyway, I locked on the nozzle, pressed the button and then stepped back because I understand the nozzle hisses when it's finished. When I went to pay the lady asked me if that was all, so thinking she meant did I want a drink or candy I told her yes, that was all. And that's when she laughed and asked if this was the first time I'd filled up on LPG. Apparently she could tell I was an "LPG virgin" because I'd only put in about half a gallon, and the man before me had done the same. Seems you have to keep your hand on the start button and the hiss will tell you when the tank is full! Old lady brain (OLB)?

After that I stopped in at a shop called Centrakor, which is the kind of place you can find cheap(er) office supplies, gardening stuff, kids's toys etc. Their shopping carts are really weird though because they are quite tall and almost square, so when I stopped and asked a young assistant if they sold crafting supplies she told me to follow her. I said not to wait on me because the wheels on this cart were so close together that I kept bumping my feet on the wheels, and that was when she told me I was pushing it around backwards! I just laughed but I am seriously beginning to wonder about OLB now!

Then my new neighbour came round to see me about the flooding in their basement and had brought with him a quote for getting new underground piping laid in our gardens to carry the water from the natural springs away from our houses. Now I have no problem with flooding (touch wood) but both my immediate neighbours do, so I said I'd be willing to go in with him to get it done properly this time. Turns out that when my old neighbour's husband (the one that died not so long ago) ordered the piping for his and my garden he ordered the smallest diameter (ie the cheapest) and that is where the blockages are occurring. I was at work when they laid the piping and had always believed I'd gotten the bigger diameter but apparently not. Turns out he cut quite a few corners in that house, as my new neighbours are repeatedly finding out!

Anyway, in spring I always go gung ho and plant a veggie plot at the top of my garden near the field and then inevitably most of it dies because I can't be doing with lugging water up there every day. But the other day, as we were removing the paving slab that covered the "manhole" to check on the spring, it occurred to me that I'd had fresh clean spring water running through my garden the entire 36 years I've lived here and that if I left the top off the manhole I could just dip my watering can in and bingo - no more lugging water around. It isn't deep (about 10 inches) and wouldn't be a risk to anyone because our gardens are not open to anyone else, so I spoke to my other neighbour and she just laughed and said to leave it open. You see, it hadn't occurred to them either that we could just dip into the spring water to water our veggie plots! (OLB x two)?

The Blue Grass Festival has come and gone again for this year, and while I didn't go down to town (too hot), I could hear most of the music from up in my village and very good they were too!

And finally, the other night I took time out to watch a video by another of my favourite Youtube channels - Early Retirement Wanderlust - and the husband, Richard, was attempting a one week, 90 mile hike in the Lake District. He was on his own this time as his wife had been caring for her mother, who was recovering from surgery, but as I was watching his progress it brought back great memories of my time as a kid in the Lake District. I had to be under 11 because I was still in primary school and I think my parents sent me away with the school because that was when my dad started having heart problems and they wanted me to have something of a holiday even if they couldn't. We stayed in a place called Patterdale Hall and for a little kid who had grown up in the inner city I just fell in love with it.

Patterdale Hall - a google image

I don't really remember all the hikes/walks we did but I do know we went over Helvellyn (the tallest mountain in the Lake District) and went over Striding Edge to get there!

Helvellyn, as accessed by Striding Edge!
A google image.

Looking back, I can't believe they took such young children on such a dangerous hike - but maybe it wasn't as dangerous as the pictures might suggest. Either way, we all came back in one piece and had a wonderful time! More to the point, I have such fond memories of the place that who knows, maybe I'll get to go back there at some point!

Ambleside, the Lake District - a google image

He also makes mention of wanting to stay in Black Sail Youth Hostel but being unable to as it was fully booked. On a later trip (when I was 15 I think), my friends and I went Youth Hostelling in the Lake District again - totally irresponsibly because I don't think any of us could read a map - and we did indeed manage to stay in Black Sail Youth Hostel. It was in the middle of nowhere and really tiny, so tiny, in fact, that rumour had it if you wanted to turn over in bed in the middle of the night you had to go outside and come in backwards. To be honest, from the memories I have of that place, that could actually have been true!

Black Sail Youth Hostel
- another google image!

Can you believe it's already August?

I can hardly believe it! Maybe it's because the last few months have been pretty "samey" or just so hot that all I wanted to do was flake out on the sofa - but seriously, how did August get here so fast? 

I continued to have many problems with my new computer, the main one being that I couldn't get Excel to work, not even to add just two numbers. It was driving me nuts because I was terrified of losing all the work I'd put in for the old fogies club, so I was having to work on my old computer (which wouldn't hook up to the internet), copy the files to a USB stick and then copy them back to my new computer, with the inherent risk of overwriting the wrong files. Eventually, after about three weeks, my old computer started hooking back up to the internet but I was still frustrated with the new one. Every time I tried to use Excel it would insist I use WPS and "you can do so by paying €XXX here"! I was really pissed off because I'd just renewed my Microsoft Office subscription and downloaded it to the new computer, so in the end I looked up exactly what WPS Office was. Turns out it is a "free, all-in-one productivity suite .... which serves as a lightweight and popular alternative to Microsoft Office". Well I don't know how popular it really is but once I deleted the bloody thing, guess whose computer works perfectly fine! Maybe I'm being haunted because I'm also finding that apps are disappearing off my phone too. For instance, I need the UBS app to log into my Swiss bank account and it just upped and poofed one day. About a week later I downloaded it again - and the old app popped back up so I ended up with two versions of it. Maybe it's because my phone insists I have run out of storage space, but who knows. Either way, I've just ordered a new iPhone 16 because I think my phone might be dying on me too, but at least I hung on a few years (from my iPhone 11) and the price has come down considerably!

I mentioned in my last post that I'd ordered a new UK passport and it was delivered about a week ago by DHL, but I was still getting messages from their main depot saying to come and pick up my parcel. I kept studiously ignoring the messages (because there was no telephone number for me to call them to find out what the package was), but as luck would have it my friend mentioned that she had to go out there (it's about 60 km from here) in connection with her late father's estate and she offered to pick up my parcel for me. How lucky was that because in all honesty I've only ever had to go there once in my 36 years in France, and the day I really need to dash out there, she's going anyway. Turns out it was my old, expired passport, so in the end I guess I should have taken it more seriously!

When I was getting a mani-pedi the other month, my lovely Thai lady asked if I wanted to try dyeing my eyebrows and lashes, what with the summer being here and "all that swimming you'll be doing". I didn't really care either way but thought I'd give it a go. It's actually time-consuming and the product stinks, but when she was finished I can't say I noticed much difference in my eyelashes, but oh my goodness, my eyebrows made me look like Groucho Marx! She coloured them to match my natural hair colour and since I've never gone grey it was quite a shock when I saw these two caterpillars crawling over my forehead. That being said, 24 hours later they look just fine and totally natural, but the thought of wandering round town looking like Groucho was not a funny prospect to me at all!

I'm still continuing with the Italian lessons (I'm very impressed with Duolingo) but the other day they did a complete lesson where we had to just listen to a normal speed conversation in Italian with no subtitles - and if that doesn't bring home to you how much you don't know, I don't know what will!

I picked up my new car the other Monday and once I got past the fear of the bloody computer, it's quite a pleasant drive, even if the trunk is very small compared to my old Ford. Still, all that lets me know is that I was carrying around too much clobber before, so it was definitely time to downsize! On the following Friday I was due to go on a day trip with the old fogies club but when I went to start my car nothing happened - zip, nada, zilch! I was really pissed off so called the garage where I'd bought it and they gave me the number of their assistance hotline. Before calling them I called Martine at the club and told them to go without me because my car had died, but she and her husband very kindly drove up to my village and picked me up. Not only were we not late but we were not even the last to arrive so I'm really grateful to them!

First stop was lunch on Lake Geneva (filet of perche, a local speciality) and it was very good, despite the usual mutterings of some of the more miserables. I said hi to Roger and he told me that obnoxious Chantal (she with the nice Portuguese partner) had managed to insult half the bus before they even arrived and then there was some muttering from people about one of our group who had stripped down to her swimsuit and dived straight into the lake for a splash around before lunch. Apparently she swims outside every day of the year and this was to be no exception. To be honest, I don't see what harm she was doing but then some people always have to find something to moan about don't they! Still these outings allow me to chat with some of the others in the group and I was quite pleasantly surprised by a much older lady (who I still consider to be a bit of a battleaxe) who turned out to be pretty good company, even if I wouldn't want to cross her. It tickled me when she asked about "my partner" and when I told her I didn't have one and nor did I want one she was quite shocked - couldn't understand the "I don't want one " part at all!

After that we travelled a couple of miles further along the lake to pick up our boat for a 90 minute trip on the lake!

Looking toward Montreux (the most
spectacular end of Lake Geneva)

One of the many beautiful properties
on the lake!

Looking back towards Evian
(where the bottled water comes from)!

When I got home, Martine's husband walked over to my car and pulled the driver's side floor mat waay back - and the car started! Just like that! Turns out they'd had the same problem with a rental car and the mat moving forward prevented you from fully depressing the clutch to start the car! Thank god it was nothing more serious than that (and I didn't get to look like a fool by calling out roadside assistance)!

After a couple of days off for good behaviour I had Charlie overnight again. The two grandmas have been taking it in turns to break up his week so that he is only in summer camp two days a week (even though he loves it). I had left my terrace awning out at one point when it started to rain, so when we got home I was showing Charlie how we had to push up on it with a broom so that the water didn't accumulate. Well he wanted to do it himself of course but was standing in exactly the wrong spot when he pushed up on the broom because he got what must have been a bucket load of water dropped right on his head. I thought it was hilarious (because I'm a bad grandma) and he laughed too, probably because it felt good in the searing heat), but I wish I'd had my phone to hand right then to preserve it forever!

On the Wednesday I suggested going to the mountains to get up to the cooler air (it wasn't cooler) but he whinged and whinged because he wanted to go swimming. In the end I told him I'd drop him off at the pool and see him when I got back from the mountains, so that soon shut him up! He got to take his first cable car up to Beauregard and was fine with it as long as I held his hand. We stayed up there for about an hour as he was fascinated watching the cows with their cowbells. Then it was back down the same way we'd come up in order to get another, smaller cable car up to a place where we could roll balls down various tracks and follow them back down to the village of La Clusaz where we'd parked the car. I have to say La Clusaz have done a great job of drawning the tourists in with summer activities, since it really is winter when they make their money. We ended up going to what would be the outdoor ice rink in winter and where they'd set up play areas for little kids for the summer. Charlie made a new friend and I got to sit down for a couple of hours out of the heat, so win/win all round!

La Clusaz

His first cable car ride!

Beauregard

I had him wave to people in the
cable cars coming the other way so
he would let go of my hand long
enough to get some blood flow back!

Playing roule ta boule!

In the evening we watched Jungle Book in French before he passed out and slept like a log. Next day I took him back to Vitamparc for the morning before going to pick Elynn up from daycare. He was as good as gold but I'm knackered! The following night they sent me a video of a family of wild boar (mother plus seven babies) wandering round the private park attached to their apartment building! The kids are on the second floor so they went down to the ground floor to warn the tenants there to be careful because obviously a mother with babies could be very dangerous. Jen called the local authorities who were going to come and move them further up into the forest for their and everyone else's safety!

The kids left yesterday afternoon for two weeks in Brittany, driving nine hours through the night to make it easier on the littles. Thankfully they arrived safely and I now have most of the month of August to myself - no sewing, no old fogies club and no overnighters. I was so tired I actually fell asleep for two hours yesterday afternoon and I never take nanna naps, so I guess I could use a break. Mind you, I reckon it won't be too long before I'll be chomping at the bit to get back to my usual routine either!

This and that!

The other Saturday my new-ish next door neighbours invited me and their neighbours on the other side over to their place for a BBQ to get to know each other better. It was a very pleasant evening and I think we're going to be very happy with them, even if I still miss my favourite neighbour. While we were chatting the wife mentioned how she'd had the "blank sheet of paper in the mailbox" scam again. I hadn't seen this but I knew what she was talking about. Apparently ne'er-do-wells put sheets of blank paper into mailboxes, but with just a small part sticking out. If that paper is still there, say, in a week, they know that the homeowner is most likely away and, I'm guessing, the home is ripe for the pickin'. My other neighbour was shocked when she heard this but I've heard of this scam doing the rounds for quite some time. I tell ya, what some people will do rather than get a job!

Bastille Day (14th July) came and went pretty much in a wet squib - not that it was wet but because our "fearless leader" had instigated a system of pre-registration and QR codes for anyone who wanted to be on the Champs Elysées to watch the annual parade. This restriction has never been applied before and was taken to the supreme court - who promptly shot it down on 13th July! There was much celebration until they found out on the morning of 14th July that a few phone calls were made and the QR code was reinstated! People were pissed and mostly chose to stay away and have their own Bastille Day celebrations away from Paris. To say the President is unpopular is probably an understatement but at least with the QR code there was no danger of anyone whistling and booing him! Earlier that week he had made a visit to a bunch of school kids wearing a gabardine coat (in 40°C weather!!!!) so people were surmising he was wearing heavy body armour underneath. I don't know if this is true or not but given that two bombs exploded near the hotel where he was staying in Syria recently, I'd guess he was somewhat nervous either way!

Last week I had a dentist's appointment in Geneva so drove to the Park n' Ride at the border to catch the bus into town. I'd already paid for my all day bus pass when I saw that the parking lot was closed with fire engines present, so I ended up driving into central Geneva to look for a parking place. I found one but man oh man was it noisy. My dentist is in central Geneva anyway but given that there were major roadworks going on (when aren't there?), the noise level was hell. It made me realize how glad I am to live in the countryside, even if it is often more than inconvenient! I was a bit surprised though to see three or four mattresses placed in the entrance way to the theatre opposite my dentist's, so I guess homelessness is not sparing Switzerland either!

I hadn't realized that my dentist now does teeth whitening and while she was poking around in my mouth she was chatting across me to her assistant (as they do) and mentioned that Mr. X (who was apparently next in line after me) should only have one more whitening appointment because "we don't want to be going for the Joe Biden look"! I started to laugh as I realized exactly what she meant so she had to pull her torture instruments out of my mouth before I choked!

While I was at the dentist's office I received a message from the UK passport office asking me to call them. Turns out it was nothing major but when he asked me for my address and I spelled it out for him in franglais he started telling me how he was going to France for his holidays in August and was hoping it wasn't going to be hotter than 25°C. I laughed and put him straight on that but we ended up spending about five minutes on my passport business and the next 15 talking about his upcoming holiday. That's fine with me because I'm happy to chat with anyone, but I have to say I've always found the passport people, just like the tax people, to be very pleasant and helpful!

I had Charlie overnight again on Wednesday and because storms were forecast I didn't take him up the mountains but rather to a water park near the border. He loved it and when the storm finally hit, we got to sit and watch it from the safety of the dome where the interior pools were located. It was quite something since the park is surrounded by mountains, it hadn't rained for about a month and the temperatures had been in the high 90s for a good few weeks. For about 30 minutes we had thunderbolts, lightening and hail but when it eventually passed the staff allowed everyone to go back outside. Charlie made friends with three youngsters of about 13 years of age who were really sweet with him, playing and encouraging him to jump in the pool - I was dead impressed with how kind they were. We got a bit wet on the way to the car, although nothing dramatic, but it made me recall the time, many years ago when I was a teenager, I was working my Saturday job in Birmingham city centre and waiting at the bus stop to go home. An older lady had obviously just been to the hairdressers and when it started to rain she pulled a shopping bag out of her purse and put it on her head! In retrospect I can't say I blame her (I mean, you wouldn't want your blue rinse getting spoiled would you) but she did look really funny all the same!

A google image from inside the dome - 
you're not allowed to take pictures, obviously!

When we got home we had dinner and then watched Toy Story, which Charlie loved, and then he passed out with me following on not long after. Next day we went grocery shopping and then to the pool at Bonneville. One of the lifeguards was really nice with the little kids and asked Charlie if he'd ever seen a fish swimming with his head sticking out of the water. When he said no, he told him then he needed to put his head in the water too! When he came up spluttering he pointed out that it might be a good idea to close his mouth at the same time as he "didn't want him emptying his swimming pool" all in one go! After that we stopped off at McDonalds (and now I know why I haven't been there since André moved out five-ish years ago - yuck) and on the way back to his house Jen called and asked if I could go pick Elynn up from daycare as she was running a fever! So I had to wake Charlie up, grab the stroller and walk back to daycare to get Elynn (who, it turns out has hand, foot and mouth disease and not scarlet fever like André's gf's little one). On the way back, Charlie was walking along a small wall when he fell off and banged his knee up! And again, I know why biology insists you have kids when you're young - I was knackered by the time we all got back home!

Anyway, all's back to relative normality now so I'm able to regroup a little. The Tour de France came through here on Sunday and I missed it, but as I was chatting with my neighbour he excused himself and said he was going in to watch it on TV - and that was when the power went out!!!! What with the World Cup being over (well done Spain) and the Tour de France getting hit by a power cut, I'm guessing there were a few unhappy French people in the village this weekend!

And finally, I got a notification from Netflix to say that The Grand Budapest Hotel would shortly be leaving so decided to watch it (over a couple of nights) as I had nothing better to do. And guess what, I really enjoyed it! It is incredibly silly but has a cast list to die for. I like Ralph Fiennes anyway, but to see him play the clown was really great and his new-to-me sidekick - young American actor Tony Revolori - was equally good at playing the buffoon, somewhat along the lines of the young Indian man in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel! So just for once it was nice not to be disappointed by whatever I'm watching and, as I say, I really enjoyed this movie - which came as somewhat of a surprise to me, little Miss Difficult To Please over here!

It's been another one of those weeks!

The weather here still hasn't broken despite the fact that they keep predicting rain. It's been incredibly hot, something which generally only starts around mid-July but it's been going on like this for over a month now. Tuesday is Bastille Day and I'm pretty sure many of the fireworks displays will be cancelled because everywhere is like a tinder box. They'll still go ahead in places like Annecy of course, because they have the lake, but I do hope people are sensible at private gatherings. As always I'm still on about three showers a day and feeling pretty lethargic, but in the end, as long as the essentials get done, does it really matter? I heard a strange puffing sound out back the other day and when I looked out my bedroom window they were inflating a bright red hot air balloon in the field behind me. Thinking I'd got time to have a quick shower I didn't take a photo immediately but when I got back to take a picture it'd already gone. Crikey, I didn't know they were that quick!

I had a phone call from the garage to say that my new car has already arrived and when did I want to pick it up? We've agreed on 20th July so that I can get the payment through tomorrow and have my insurance set up too. Thankfully I'm not so hot that I'm not on the ball though because when they sent me the final settlement figures I noticed that they hadn't taken into account the initial €1,000 I'd already sent them!! Anyway, I stopped in at the garage to drop off all the paperwork and decided to pop over the road to see what number the bus stop opposite was, just in case I had to drop off my car and leave it all day. While I was trying to figure out timetables with a Moroccan woman who was sitting there, it turned out that there were no buses that day (great - live in the country they said), so as it was hot I offered to drive her and her daughter home - after all, it couldn't be that far! Anyhow, we got chatting and I asked her how she'd ended up in Bonneville, and that was when she more or less gave me her life story about how she had to get her and her daughter away from her violent husband!! Crikey, I'd met this woman five minutes ago and it was only a 10 minute trip to her home, but in that short space of time we'd both agreed that she really had done the right thing to dump the guy and run!!! When I say people seem to end up telling me their life stories, as you can see, I mean it!

At the weekend the kids took the littles into Geneva for them to swim in the lake. I can't really say there is a "beach" on Lake Geneva (unlike many places in France) but everyone seemed to have had a great time all the same!

"Tonton" (uncle) André with Elynn
and his gf M with her little one!

Last Thursday I also took another day trip to the Jardins Pétrifiants in the Vercors. Because of strict distance regulations there are only so many km the drivers can cover in one day but luckily enough there seem to be quite a few interesting places in the local area anyway. The gardens were lovely but again it was very hot, so often uncomfortable. I met a couple of women who asked me if I'd been on the Lake Garda trip and as so often happens, you end up yacking away like old friends more often than not!

The above three are google
images because I just couldn't
do it justice with my iPhone!

After the gardens we stopped off at a lovely restaurant for lunch, although to be honest I wasn't keen on the food for once! Still, I didn't have to cook it and I certainly didn't have to wash up so I'm not complaining! I think the real reason we went to this restaurant though was because it was just a short walk down to the river, from where we could see the houses built into the side of the mountain and which are still inhabited!

After that we had a one-hour boat trip back to the gardens before making our way back home. Would I go there again - probably not - but was it worth the visit the first time - most definitely!

I began to notice that my computer had started playing up a little while ago, so quickly ordered a very cheap one from Amazon Germany "just in case" and man am I glad I did. I had to order from Germany because I've used a Swiss German keyboard for the last 40+ years and I couldn't find my way round a French keyboard to save my life. Anyway the other day my old computer decided it no longer wanted to hook up to the internet, so I had to quickly switch to the new one because I desperately did not want to lose all the work I'd done for the old fogies club. Problem was, my new computer didn't seem to like Excel, so I was hopping back and forth from one computer to the other and virtually pulling my hair out. After a few days of piddling around though it looks like I've got the new one up and running (and which I will back up on a regular basis) and I'm getting back to knowing where the French accents are! I suppose it's like anything new, it takes a while to get it figured out, but given that at the same time my A/C unit in the bedroom went on the blink and a few other things decided to die on me, I decided to take a couple of "sod it" days and just sit in the garden and read. Oddly enough, taking "sod it" days and/or just sleeping on it very often seems to solve the problem!

I've got Charlie overnight again on Wednesday and my lovely new neighbours (who invited both sides round for a BBQ last night) were telling me about the different kids' activities they'd been to today up at La Clusaz - my favourite ski resort. If everything works out I'll take him up on the cable car to the Plâteau de Beauregard but if it rains I guess it'll have to be the indoor swimming pool rather than the lake after that. All depends on the weather of course and if Charlie's up for the cable car (I don't think he's been in one before)!

Plâteau de Beauregard!

Oh, and just to make Dave jealous, the Tour de France is coming through here again in a few days. Well it always does come through here anyway, it's just a question of how close. I'll have to look it up and see if I can get up there to get some pictures!

And finally (and I have no idea why this popped up on my Youtube stream), there was a short video of a French committee meeting where a lady representing the Ecology Party was tabling an amendment to something or other. When the Chair tried to give her the floor he got a fit of the giggles and very soon the entire committee was in stitches. At first I couldn't see why it was so funny (although watching someone giggling helplessly is funny anyway), but it turns out Mrs. Ecology Party's name was Ms Woodburn (or Bruhlbois in French) - and everyone just collapsed laughing! Just for once it was worth watching a French committee meeting in action!

Oh the irony!

I sent off for a renewal of my British passport last week even though it still has another year to run on it. I changed back to my maiden name around 2016 and when I sent my passport off to get my name changed, they took the remaining years of validity on it and added that to the length of my new 10-year passport, effectively giving me a passport that was valid for about 13 years, if I remember correctly. Problem is, even though the Brits will recognize that validity length, the European Union won't recognize anything beyond the 10-year mark so I decided to get it renewed early. So there's another official document winging its way back to me with a god-awful photo on it. Luckily, at this point I don't care!

The heat here, like most places, is bloody awful. We're regularly hitting around 35C (95F) - which is a little unusual for this early - and yesterday it was 39C (102F) as I walked back to my car! I'm dealing with it by taking three cold showers a day but it really is taking a toll on people as most don't have AC over here - or at least, not in this part of France. Maybe a bit further south, but who knows. When I went shopping I saw that they had extra "curtains" pulled down over the freezer sections in order to try to protect the products, but I've already seen a couple of UK bloggers saying how frozen goods in their local supermarkets were not available as the freezers had packed up! Crikey, that must be a huge headache for the stores! Hopefully, we could be getting some rain starting next week and more normal temperatures, but have I ever mentioned before how much I hate the heat? Give me the cold any day!

I went to get a massage earlier in the week and was complaining to the lovely Thai lady how much the heat affected me. She, of course, looked like a million dollars with her hair pulled up in a bun, and tied with flowers, while I looked like something the cat had dragged in but hey, whaddaya gonna do! So then we got to talking about hair and its problems, so I told her about how my friend had worked at a hairdressers when she was a teenager and an older lady had walked in and asked if it was "a bisexual salon" because her husband needed his hair cut!!! Another old biddy tried to make an appointment for a "cut and blow job", and we ended up crying with laughter! Oh, and those Mrs. Malaprop old ladies were probably younger than I am now so the future doesn't look very promising, does it!

I guess the heat has been addling brains at the old fogies club too because in my absence Martine took the cash box from the tombola home after our lunch the other week, and then phoned me in a panic saying that we were €100 short! We were racking our brains trying to figure out what had happened and she kept swearing that she hadn't touched any of it (we didn't think that anyway), but eventually called me back to say that while counting out the notes she'd put 32 x €5 down as €60 instead of €160, so no harm no foul! Then I was checking the bank statement against my own excel table and was coming up €300 short every time. I knew it had to be recent because I'd been spot on until end May but I spent ages poring over that thing until I spotted an entry in my excel table where I'd typed in a line entry but not the corresponding amount (€300) - or, more likely, I'd accidentally deleted it somehow! And then Monique (the President) handed me photocopies of payment cheques for our trip to Andalusia in September and I told her I hadn't seen them. She insisted I must have because here were the photocopies, but I had no trace of them. That's when she realized she'd left the originals on her printer at home! She was really upset about "being an old fool" but I just laughed and said that at least she hadn't put them in the fridge so there was nothing to worry about as yet! And in any case, he who never made a mistake never made anything, did he!

On my way to club there is a stretch of road that is single lane only with high barriers on each side, but when I got to it it was totally blocked off by the police and I had to take a detour. When I left club that evening it was still blocked off and I saw that a learner bus was blocking the whole road. I have no idea what happened (but presumably no-one was injured as there were no emergency services present). Looks to me like it must have broken down - but I was so glad it wasn't me sitting there trying to figure out how to get the bloody thing out of the way! I have enough trouble parking my car!

I kept Charlie again on Wednesday and we spent only about an hour in the park as it was way too hot to be out there. He had me looking for twigs, leaves and petals so that we could make a collage of a tree for his mom, but he made me laugh when he told me that the twigs "had to be straight, but he only wanted the vertical ones, not the horizontal ones"! Huh????

On another note, is anyone else sick of AI yet?? No - so just me then? While I realize it can be useful, I'm already sick to death of these AI "stories" on Youtube. There's usually an old biddy named Margaret, whose husband (usually Robert or Gerald) passed away a few years ago. She was born and raised in Virginia but sounds more British than the Queen and has this drony voice and the slow hand movements that are a dead giveaway. Then the stories of the younger AI people - they're usually Britany and Markus (who always looks like Piers Brosnan), and there is usually some outrageous story about how Markus runs off with her best friend but doesn't know that she won $17 million on the lottery the week before! I watched a few at the beginning but I can't help thinking this AI drivel is killing the art of real story-telling!

And talking of rubbish, I started watching The Boroughs on Netflix, because I like Alfred Molina, and oh man was it terrible. In fact it was so bad it was funny, so I did end up watching to the end, even if I couldn't get past staring at Geena Davis' veneers. Paz being a nice bit of eye candy made up for it a bit, but there's still only so much eye candy can do! On the other hand, I only recently realized that Series 5 of Clarkson's Farm is out on Amazon and I'm loving it. I love Jeremy anyway, although I realize he's marmite (like marmite, you love him or you hate him), but seeing him and Kaleb visiting a floating farm in the city of Rotterdam was just amazing. I loved seeing how well thought out the Dutch farm was and of course Clarkson was in his element trying out all the new (very expensive) "toys" on his own farm. I just love it!

Charlie's school had its end-of-year kermesse on Saturday and just like last year it was again scorching. They'd got quite a few games set out for the kids which included water so at least the kids were able to cool down. It was very well done, as always, and I think the adults had almost as much fun as the kids!

Elynn watching the tug-of-war!

André and Charlie against Jordan!

Then today, their little town had its music festival, with the roads blocked off for the marching bands. I didn't go as I'd had enough of the heat, but from the videos Jen sent me it looked very good. The previous mayor (he was recently elected to the French National Assembly) came back from Paris for the day to visit and addressed the crowd in the sports stadium. From what I've seen on social media, he is working hard in the interests of this region; what he will be able to achieve remains to be seen, politics being what it is, but he definitely seems to be putting the work in!

And finally, Friday was the only day I had free this week so I planned to take a drive down to the lake at Passy - except when I tried to start my car nothing happened - zip/nada. No battery, no spluttering, no nothing. Damn! So I ended up calling out my roadside insurers (who were very efficient) but he was having no luck either until I told him about the time I'd broken down at the recycling centre because one of the nuts attaching wires to the battery had come loose - and bingo, there it was again. He told me to get Ford to take a look at it because it looked like vibrations when driving could be causing this nut to come loose. Anyhoo, I decided to take myself into town to have a look at a car I'd been interested in for sometime, given that my Ford is now 15 years old. I spent about two hours with the sales guy and then popped over the road to the local market. There was a parking space next to the trolley bay but I left that empty and took the second space over. As I came back to my car a youngish man was squeezing his car into the space between my car and trolley bay (there were plenty of empty spaces a little further away but why walk 10 feet if you don't have to) and he gave me a funny look as he struggled out of his car. I was pissed off because he'd parked so close that I actually had to climb in through the passenger door but once in I drove home and parked up. Next morning I realized that he'd obviously hit my car while squeezing into that parking space, hence the funny look he gave me when he saw me standing there. My car was perfectly fine when I left the dealership so it could only have been him and he'd done a runner on me. The irony is that I'd actually signed up for a new car at the dealership 10 minutes earlier and they'd be taking my old one off my hands in exchange. Oh they won't be getting screwed with my banged up car because as it's over 15 years old it has to be scrapped. So the real irony is that I'd had that car 15 years and never put a ding in it, and 10 minutes after I'd sold it he scraped half the driver's side off. Doesn't bother me - but hey, I hope your car looks worse than mine! As the saying goes "keep the change ya filthy animal"!

This and that!

As I said in my previous post, things have been pretty hectic for the past six weeks or so, and a good bit of that was in connection with the old fogies club. The club meets every Tuesday afternoon for about four hours where they play cards or scrabble or whatever and then every so often throughout the year they organize lunches, day trips and once a year a longer trip. This year it's to Seville in September and as I'll be going I'm really looking forward to that one. The thing is, every "extra" event involves a lot of work for the committee, with the Mothers' Day/Fathers' Day lunch last week meaning we had to spend Thursday afternoon setting up tables for around 100 people and then washing up and putting the room back to rights after the lunch, in addition to organizing the caterer, the band, the tombola and so on. It's a lot of work but that isn't what bothers me so much as the fact that the "extras" cut into my free days during the week so often. Well apparently I'm not the only one who feels like that because we had a committee meeting the Friday before to discuss future events and how that would look for the committee. Monique, the president, is feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment, as is Martine (the secretary - who really is the mainstay of the whole club) because there is very little help from anyone other than our small committee of eight. Soooo, long story short, we've decided to cut back on the number of lunches per year and use the services of a local restaurant who not only serve excellent food but also come in and set up/tear down the place too! While we will still decorate for Christmas it was decided that nobody was going up any ladders to decorate anymore and since the average age of the club members is probably nearer 80 than 70, and no-one is exactly knocking the door down to step in and help, we are going to simplify as much as possible - and if anyone complains (they will) well, they're very welcome to step up and pitch in! I mean, some of us have actual lives outside the club!

That being said, the lunch on Friday went very well, with just a few initial tensions because this one wanted to sit with that one and there weren't enough seats together, but they'd been warned to get there early if they wanted to reserve grouped seats. Martine does an excellent job of chasing up payments, the cheques never being cashed before the event because people inevitably get ill or drop out the day of, and then we have one or two who always pay in cash (which tends to make my job more difficult keeping track of the finances), but still, it went well and looking ahead to a somewhat calmer future has eased the tension within the committee to some extent!

I sit and people watch once the dancing starts and it's really nice to see the avid dancers having such a great time. There is one man who fascinates me because he is always on the dance floor and while he does indeed have teeth, he "gurns" while dancing, by which I mean his mouth takes on the aspect of someone without teeth and he seemingly counts to the beat of the music with his mouth looking like a goldfish struggling for air! Still he's a nice enough man and it's good to see him having fun - I just wish I could stop staring!

Comedian Les Dawson
"gurning"!

Towards the end of the evening, birthday girl Georgette (she just turned 95) asked to sing and proceeded to sit alone on the stage and sing in a surprisingly strong voice what must have been popular French ballads. People started singing with her and she started to cry but I'm afraid I don't know what happened next because I had to dash off to Charlie's end-of-school concert, which started 30 minutes later!

The theme this year was "the sea and all its mysteries". The kids did really well (hats off to the teachers again) but I had to laugh when a bunch of "pirates" stormed the stage looking for treasure. I guess the parents must have been asked to provide pirates' hats because one little kid's hat was so big and floppy you could barely see his face and when I commented to my neighbour that he looked like a mobile mushroom, we both got a fit of the giggles because she was seeing exactly what I was!

At one point André's girlfriend's ex walked over to her dad and put out his hand. Dad promptly pointed out very loudly that as the man who had abandoned his daughter with a five year old, a newborn and a wreck of a house to chase younger tail, he had no desire to shake his hand and he could just "toodle off dear chappy" (or swear words to that effect)! I didn't know where to put myself, but I guess if that's the way you feel, why put on a show just to be polite (and I can't say I really blame him)!

After club on Tuesday I had the prospect of five entire days with no commitments - which was such a lovely thought I decided to take myself off to do a hike I'd spotted on FB. It was classed as "easy" (although I should know better by now) and being pleasantly shady, so I punched the address into my GPS and by midday I was starting my climb up to the Cascade de Morette! I think under other circumstances (ie not so hot) it might not have been too bad, but given that the reason it was shady was because it was in the middle of a forest, I should have realized that tree roots would be like some kind of death trap triffids. Oh I can get up there, even if it means climbing over some pretty high rocks, but the tree roots really were potential death traps, and it occurred to me at one point that it was a pretty stupid thing to do to go up there alone. In the end I found the waterfall, sat there for a while to cool off, and then decided to head back down to the car park (downhill being potentially more of a death trap than the uphill part). So yep, I'm glad I did it but it did make me realize just how unfit I am and that if I want that to change I need to up my game!

Cascade de Morette

I would have loved a dip in this pool
but I don't think I could have climbed
back out!

I only just realized that I could ask google
what the beautiful wild flowers were -
this one's part of the geranium family apparently!

"Here in 1793 was the insurgents' camp
in memory of Marguerite Frichelet-Avet
and her companions!"

I had to look up Marguerite Frichelet-Avet. Apparently in the late 1700s this region was annexed by the French, who expropriated (is that the right word?) the locals' property and began conscripting their young men into the French army. Marguerite - who was referred to as the Savoyard Joan of Arc - began helping the resistance, treating the wounded and smuggling arms and goods to the insurgents. She was captured and shot in Annecy at the young age of 37! (and there's another bit of local history I didn't think I'd ever learn)!

On the way back to the parking lot I spotted what looked like a shrine and I'm pretty sure the water running down the cliff was used by locals in much the same way as Lourdes water in that it is believed to have healing properties. In fact, just down the road from me is La Benite Fontaine (the blessed fountain) and many locals go fill water bottles up from the spring there, swearing it also has healing properties - or at the very least, is good for your health!

If you look closely, you can
see a (live) butterfly on
Mary's right hand!

"Thank you Mary, 1932"!

After I got back to my car I decided to head off to find a local lake, which I knew couldn't be too far away. I sat there and had a drink to cool off, and while it was pretty enough, I'm not sure I would go there again as the lake at Passy still takes some beating as far as I'm concerned!

Lac de Thuy!

Technicolour beehives!

All in all, Wednesday was a good day, but to say I was sore on Thursday would be an understatement!! In the morning I went to the bank to deposit money for the club and then decided to head out to La Roche market for a change. For once it was easy to find parking and while my North African vendor was already selling off his fruit and veg, I didn't buy much. In the end I just bought a bowl of eight heads of garlic for €2 and a huge bowl of fresh mushrooms, again for €2, so I'll have to be chopping that all up and freezing it tomorrow!

It was another pleasant day, although the searing heat is making itself felt with a vengeance. By the time I got back from the market I was a sweaty mess with what looked like a full afro. In the end, why even bother trying to look presentable?

I'll be glad of a break!

Man am I ever glad May is over! While there were lots of fun events it just seemed like circumstances dictated that they all ended up happening in May, rather than spread out over a longer period, and it was exhausting - even if it was a fun month. On a positive note, Airbnb posted a review on us from the owner of the house we rented in Auvergne and she said we were "very respectful of the property and left it spotless" so I'm happy about that. I knew, of course, that visitors rated their experiences but I didn't know that the owners actually rated the renters too, but then I suppose it's a good way to let other owners know about potential future renters!

The G7 is meeting in Evian next week and the whole place is locked down, stretching out even as far as our little town. It's about 40 minutes from here to Evian but the exhibition halls in town are being used as barracks for the military so even though, logically, we shouldn't be so affected by the meeting, many of our roads have been rerouted to avoid passing near the barracks. People living in and around Evian are really complaining though, as businesses (restaurants etc.) are losing money, as are the pleasure boats on Lake Geneva as you can't get within a few miles of the place. They even have military up in the mountains on both sides of the lake to make sure that people with ill intent aren't camped out up there waiting for the meeting. People who cross from France into Geneva for work were told to expect delays of between four and six hours to cross the borders so those that can do so will obviously be working from home until the G7 is over (and probably loving not having the daily commute too)!

Totally unrelated to the G7 is the recent fire at the big toll road leading into Geneva. A man had stopped in order to pay and his car suddenly went up in flames (although luckily no-one was hurt), so I can't even begin to imagine what the traffic is like on that road until they can get the infrastructure up and running again. And, yet again, I will forever thank God I'm retired!!!!!

May is also the month where I get a visit from the chimney sweep, which is money for old rope in my case because I haven't used my wood burner even once in the last year so there's actually nothing to sweep. But if my certificate isn't up to date my house insurance isn't valid so while yep, it really is money for old rope, I just have to grit my teeth and pay it. And talking of creatures on a set schedule, I see that I'd written in my diary that "the pushy gypsy guy" should be showing up anytime around now. I think he's a traveller and comes knocking on doors round here telling the great and gullible what needs doing to their homes. To be fair, he does fairly decent work, but I really resent being pressured into emplyoing him for various jobs, particularly since it will inevitably cost me €1,000 and "I'd rather have that in cash, if you don't mind"! There is one particular job that I want doing on my roof so I'll be contacting a company my neighbour recommended to me, but in the meantime, I'm so glad I disconnected my front doorbell and I'll try my best to "be out" when he comes around, as "pushy" really should be his middle name!

Last week I had my appointment at the hospital to see if anything could be done about what looks like a black spot on my right eyeball that I noticed after pressure-spraying my back terrace. They told me to apply numbing eye drops to both eyes in advance and consequently I had to get a taxi there and back since my friend was away and I wasn't allowed to drive. Turns out the "black spot" in my field of vision isn't as a result of damage to my eye (and she did explain what it was but I can't remember what it's called) and it's not something to worry about unless I start seeing loads of black spots and/or flashes of colour, so I'm good to go and hopefully it will clear up on its own. The taxi clocked up €40 on the way to the hospital and he told me I could settle up with him after the return journey but when he went to charge me just €45 for the entire trip I reminded him that I hadn't paid the first leg yet. He just laughed and said "oh we'll call it a round trip for €45 then", so I guess I made up for the chimney sweep rip-off by finding a decent taxi firm - who I will definitely use again if needed!

I kept Charlie again on the Wednesday and then Jen asked if I could keep both kids on the Saturday evening for them to go out for dinner with my oldest and his girlfriend. Charlie had skinned his knees in a fall at school and Elynn had run into a wall and ended up with a huge scrape across her forehead and what looked like the beginnings of a black eye, but in the end they were no trouble at all. Elynn is really easy to put to bed and Charlie was too after we'd watched Ice Age until about 10.30 pm! I loved that movie and we now use Sid's catch phrase "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die - first I'm gonna throw up, and then I'm gonna die" whenever we're a bit nervous about something. I got home around 1 am and to bed around 2, which was unfortunate as everyone was coming to my place for lunch the next day, the 31st being not only Mother's Day in France but also Jordan's 34th birthday. We were lucky in that it had forecast rain but we ended up with blue skies and hot weather, hot enough for me to get out the little paddling pool I'd bought and the water pistols for the kids (adults?) to enjoy!

Jen and Charlie ready to ambush!

So I've been really busy the entire month of May, and every day last week too. I actually have quite a few administrative things to sort out, but this weekend I think I'm just going to take it easy, read my current book (Lie Down With Wolves by Ken Follett) and try not to do much of anything for a while. One thing I will be sorting out though is the renewal of my British passport. I got photos taken at the booth when I went shopping on Tuesday and oh my goodness what a fright I look. I don't actually care too much to start messing around trying to get a good photo but I did get to wondering if other people do and if they try to use filters and/or AI to make themselves look better. I'm pretty sure none of that is allowed and also that the passport authorities can most likely spot it anyway, but lordy lordy, my photo is terrible. So is the photo on my French passport because after all you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, can you, but I seriously look like a drug mule in both! I suppose it just depends on whether I want to look like a British drug mule or a French drug mule when I decide which passport to hand over! Decisions, decisions!