André's car has been in the garage this past week to have a few things fixed. One of the parts had to be sent away to the Netherlands to see if it could be repaired, failing which that part alone will cost him around €1,100 to replace! In the meantime we've been pottering along using just my car, which hasn't been a problem in and of itself because André has been working from home and I have about two "outings" a week where I need my car - grocery shopping and trotting down to the recycling centre. Yeah, I know, some of us just live the high life don't we. Anyway, he took my car to run into town the other day and when he came back he told me he had spotted his old girlfriend, Annabel, begging at the entrance to the supermarket. Now I didn't know about any girlfriends before Lily as she was the first one he ever introduced to us, but apparently he dated Annabel - who lives(d?) nearby from about the age of 16. He was telling me tonight that she dumped him to get back with her ex the first time, they got back together again and she dumped him a second time, presumably for her ex again, after which he met Lily. Apparently she called sometime later asking to get back together again but he hadn't bothered answering as he'd had enough of her (aaahhh, young love). Well it turns out that she must have gotten into drugs and has gone totally off the rails. I think she must be the young girl I've spotted begging a few times as I've only ever seen her and a man with a dog begging outside that particular store. He said he was shocked and saddened to see her like that but as he was driving out of the car park he didn't stop and speak to her, and in any case he wouldn't have known what to say!
So then we somehow got talking about his childhood and he told me that "it was an absolute dream". I'm so, so pleased to hear him say that because my memories of my kids' childhood is marred by the screaming matches between me and my ex and the physical violence towards me (but not them), so maybe there were good times before all the bad times kicked in. He said how wonderful it was to grow up in an area with so many mates (there were loads of young boys round here) and having access to the woods, the mountains and the lakes was fabulous. At school he had a great crowd of mates too, and when we got home the first thing he would do was look out the window to see who was outside and then dash off to meet them at la branche (their hidey-hole/meeting place). Again, it gives me so much pleasure to hear him say this because, as I say, I guess my guilt complex only allows me to remember the bad times!
So then I started telling him about how it was the same for me. Oh we were poor all right and I grew up in the inner city as opposed to a small rural village, but in the six row houses where I grew up there were 40 kids, believe it or not, so we always had someone to play with and, being in a city, we always had places to go - the swimming baths, the cinema, the ice rink, the huge central library in our city or, in my case, Birmingham's fabulous natural history museum, which I absolutely loved! It reminded me of Scottish comedian, Billy Connolly, saying how he had the most wonderful time growing up in the Glasgow slums because no matter how poor they were, he always had tons of mates!
As I say, I grew up in social housing where large families were the norm but it seemed everyone looked out for each other and there was much more of a community spirit than there is today. Two doors away from us was the Farley family who were the "rough" ones, but even if some of the boys got into trouble with the police on a regular basis (minor stuff usually), they never gave any of the neighbours any hassle. I giggle when I remember that as my bedroom was at the front of the house I was privy to many a night visit by the police to the Farley family looking for one of the boys. One of the best ones, though, was one night the police rang the doorbell at around 1 a.m. and Mrs. F must have answered the door in the nude and all I heard was one of the police officers saying "of for God's sake woman, put some clothes on will you"!
In other news, the weather here has taken a turn for the worse again and we have a storm blowing a right hoolie at the moment, with more snow forecast, so I don't know if I'll get much - if any - walking done this weekend. But damn it wouldn't you know that I totted up my miles walked tonight and I've totalled 99.85 miles so far this year! So close and yet so far! I'll be spending the weekend alone as André is going to stay over at Jordan and Jen's so they can play guitar and hang out for a while. I think it'll do them both good to break up the covid routine a bit. When I got back from dropping André off (at 18.02h so two minutes past curfew - don't tell anyone), I saw that I'd received an email from the French authorities asking me to stop by their offices in Annecy on 9 February, complete with passport and two photos, in order to finalize my request for my resident's permit. So that's not bad timing at all. After that, I should get my 10-year, renewable permit in about two weeks' time! Yay me!
And finally, did anyone see that sweet story in the news this week about the man in Turkey who was hospitalized and his devoted dog waited for him outside the hospital every day for six days? Oh the family kept taking the dog back home with them but every day he escaped and waited outside the hospital doors until his master came back. How sweet is that?
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| Man's best friend! |
I loved that story about the dog, animals are so loyal. Sad about your sons exgirlfriend but unfortunately so many get caught up in drugs. Happy to hear that your residency is moving along - what a long slog that has been
ReplyDeleteResidency was always going to be the easy part because I've been here 31 years. Citizenship on the other hand ... I reckon I'll be about 95 if/when that ever comes through. Glad you're on the up and up now, however, slowly!
DeleteWe had the Staleys living 2 house down. Their boys had the front bedroom looking out onto the tin roof of their front porch. When the weather was warm, it was not unusual to hear one of them peeing out the front window rather then walk to the back of the house where their bathroom was. Most of the neighbors hated it.
ReplyDeleteEeww! In my post where I wrote about "disgusting things your ex used to do" one of the ladies said her ex-husband used to walk to the front porch and pee into the garden right where all the neighbours could see BUT he had to walk past their downstairs bathroom to do it! Passive-aggressive much?
DeleteGood luck with the permit, it’s a month now since we were sent an email copy of our health cards, the actual plastic items haven’t arrived. We are told they will come by courier, no idea when. Meantime we are settled down to wait for the call to collect our residency card. In fact life at present is just a waiting game.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenny. I don't foresee a problem with it actually because it's pretty routine. Plus, I have private medical insurance through my former employer so I don't have to depend on the French social security system or the UK (thank God, I'm hearing a few nightmare stories)! But you're right, it is a waiting game isn't it. Just one of the "joys" of being an expat after Brexit. Still I wouldn't leave France for anything!
DeleteSorry about your son's ex-friend. It is so sad to see young people get involved with drugs and give up living a real life. I think you have raised two wonderful sons and gave them a good childhood no matter what the problems were between you and your ex. Him telling you that he had a wonderful childhood, is so precious.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for this young girl. It's not too late of course but you have to take the help offered. As for André saying that, it meant the world to me, as you can imagine!
DeleteNo one decides to get caught up and caught by drugs or alcohol. What a sorrow!
ReplyDeleteAs a mother who's default emotion is guilt too, I completely understand how much it means to you to know that your son's memory of his childhood is a beautiful one. Well done, Mama! You did a lot of things right.
I feel sorry for this young girl and I did say to André what would have happened if they had stayed together. He said he would NEVER get into drugs, it just isn't worth it, so yep, maybe I did do something right!
DeleteSuch a sliding doors moment. If only that girl had stopped going back to her 'bad' boy and stuck with Andre how different her life might have been, although the flip side is Andre might have had a very different life too. The quirks of fate. Its good to know your kids felt they had a happy childhood. I suppose for them your arguements were just what family life is about, the violence not so much but its good they don't seem to have been traumatised by any of it, plus it was different times then, kids got hit by their parents etc in those days so perhaps thats what it seemed like to them, who knows but it sounds like you did good!
ReplyDeleteI love hearing stories of animals like that, as long as the owner comes home again, I hate it when they die and the dog doesn't know! I hated the story of Grey Friars Bobby!! xx
I've held in a lot of guilt about what went on when my kids were growing up. My ex probably only smacked (hit - and way too hard) the kids once. He saved the violence for me (I have a domestic violence conviction against him) so it definitely wasn't "normal" but they seem to have been able to get over it better than I thought they would. And you're right, that little dog touched my heart - he was SOOOOO excited to see his owner again it was lovely!
DeleteMammoth session trying to comment on your blog after an IOS update on my iPad. Finally, and I’m not even sure you’ll think my comment worthy of publication but just to say your comment about cars and short journeys resonates. Horrific idea, but husband and I have even discussed what make and model of vehicle we might be tempted to share if current situation continues and we decide to downsize to one car between us. With lack of use, the justification for separate cars keeps diminishing.
ReplyDeleteI had an IOS update on my phone this week and everything seemed to go screwball too. At least your comment got through in the end though. As for the "one car" business, I guess it depends where you live. Here in our village there is virtually no public transport - well there's a minibus system pretty much on a par with a "once-a-week" bus into town. For me to walk to my supermarket would probably take about 90 minutes but to walk back would probably be nearer 2-2.5 hours as it's all uphill so I won't be giving up my car any time soon.
DeleteI was brought up in Walton,Liverpool which is between both football grounds. As you say there was always something to do. Moving to a small town was hello to begin with. Anna, I would much rather have a 4 legged companion than a 2.
ReplyDeleteThere is (was?) an awful lot to be said for living in a big city isn't there and I absolutely loved city centre Birmingham (particularly the library and the museums). Oddly enough my mom was born in a small village in North Wales which is absolutely beautiful, but my cousin always loved to come stay with us because there was always so much to do! As for a dog, I'm so, so tempted but I realize I love my freedom too much, and what with the baby coming and me going over there to babysit (they have an evil cat who doesn't get on with humans let alone dogs), I honestly don't see it happening (although I agree, I'd rather a 4-legged companion than a 2-legged one)!
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