The view from my window

The view from my window
The view from my window

Saturday 8 February 2020

Well that was embarrassing!

As we were driving back from yoga on Tuesday my neighbour said "oh, I've got big news for you, M (her daughter) and B (her British boyfriend) are getting married on Saturday in Geneva"! It wasn't as big a surprise as it might have been as they were engaged anyway and looking to get the paperwork completed in France, but since B still has his name on the lease for his apartment in Switzerland until the end of the month they were able to get accepted at the Mairie in Geneva where an available time slot came around quicker than they anticipated, so they had to rush and get everything sorted in time for a civil wedding today. It wasn't a big wedding - just immediate family - but they looked lovely. After the wedding they drove up the mountains near me for a fondue and my neighbour asked me to come back to their place afterwards for a celebratory drink. Actually they were lucky to get up the gorge for lunch because I saw on FB this morning that access was pretty much at a standstill (it leads to two of the bigger ski resorts round here). Initially it was blocked with people heading out to ski - locals, I guess, because the big ski vacations for the schools don't start until next week - but I just heard from a friend that there was also a horrible accident on the way up there too. It's a narrow winding mountain pass up through the gorge with steep drops on the one side. Apparently a car was involved in a fairly minor collision with a truck and one of the passengers jumped over the retaining wall to in order to get off the road and out of the way of the traffic but didn't realize there was a horrendous drop on the other side of the wall. It's not as stupid as it sounds because there are trees right up against the wall and you could easily mistake it for flat ground behind. Anyway, the roads were blocked for several hours while the emergency services looked for the poor guy - who eventually turned up dead further downstream trapped under a rock in the river! Bloody hell, what an awful way to go!

Anyway, since I was invited over later to have a drink with the newlyweds I dashed out as I wanted to buy a bottle of champagne to take with me. The supermarket was pretty busy unfortunately so as there was no line for "10 articles or less" I ended up standing in the line where priority is given to the disabled, elderly and pregnant women. Well the lady cashier at one point looked at the stomach of the woman in front of me and asked her if she was pregnant because if so she should jump to the head of the queue. Now this young woman did, indeed, look about seven months pregnant but the husband turned round and said "no, those days are over for us"! Ooops! I saw the cashier blush vividly and felt so sorry for her as she was only trying to help! Actually, I did the same thing with our banker too when we were going through the divorce. After we had finished our meeting I asked her when the baby was due and she said "I'm not pregnant"!!!! Never again! I will never say anything to a "pregnant" woman ever again. Better to just wait till the baby's born next time before opening my mouth I think!

That being said, I can't really talk as my own belly isn't exactly J-Lo material and I reckon I haven't seen my toes (except at yoga) for a good while now. And this despite the fact that my weight goes up and down like a bride's nightie! On top of all the walking I've been doing I haven't had a drink for six weeks now so I kinda hoped some of it would come off but apparently sugar cravings seem to have kicked in so I guess that'll be the next thing I have to tackle! Gotta knock the chocolate on the head too I guess! Anyway, when I was buying the champagne I also picked up another bottle of kombucha as I'm going through it at a rate of knots at the moment. And talking of kombucha, my home brew seems to be coming along nicely at two weeks along - I've either got a very good base for my own kombucha or a severe case of botulism in the making looking at the mouldy stuff floating about in there. I guess only time will tell right!

Anyway, getting back to next door's wedding, my neighbours said I could ride over with them because of limited parking space and the husband got chatting to me about his friend, Jo, who might also come if he could get back down the mountain from his shop in time. He has several shops that sell cheese and dried meats - upscale deli-type of thing, I guess. Anyway, M was telling me what a nice guy Jo is - I've met him a couple of times and he does indeed seem to be a nice chap. He's a widower but had been with someone for quite some time when she apparently ended it a couple of months ago. So my neighbour was saying how the gf will regret this as "Jo is a lovely guy and has plenty of money"!! His wife has also made a few comments about inviting me over to dinner at the same time as Jo, so trying to set me up or what? Now I have nothing against Jo - from the little I've seen of him he seems to be a genuinely nice guy - but what really riles me is that the husband has to mention how much money he's got. Is that what men really think? That women are only interested in them for their money? Or is that what women are really like? I don't know, but that's certainly not the case with me. I was actually pretty offended to think that Jo's having money (or otherwise) would be a factor in whether or not I was interested in the guy! Actually it doesn't rile me up, it makes my blood boil!!! I mentioned one time previously how the first guy I dated briefly after my husband left was a very wealthy Spanish lawyer and he offered to pay my mortgage off because "I've given more money than that to the Prado"! So I told him thanks very much but no thanks as you can't put a price on freedom and that I value more than anything in the world. Oddly enough that's probably why we remained on good terms even after we split up! But my neighbour trying to "sell" Jo to me really offended me. Am I being unreasonable here? Maybe trying to play matchmaker - no problem there - but please don't insult me with the money angle!

It brought to mind a time when one of the local guys asked me if I would be interested in standing for the village council "because we could do with another woman on the board", and then realized I couldn't because I'm not French. And again I think "what, do you want me to stand for the village council because you think I'm up to it or because I've got a pair of boobs"? I don't know, maybe I'm just hormonal (ha) but I get really offended to be (a) treated like a pair of boobs or (b) treated like someone who would be interested in dating a man just because he has money! Now before anyone bursts a blood vessel I know there are plenty of women out there who do see men as a pocket book but I'm certainly not one of them. I have my own home and my own money - it's not a fortune but it's more than enough for my needs. What's more I didn't "make out" in the divorce either - quite the contrary actually, but what the hell, it was worth losing out on over $100,000 I had put into the house to begin with (as against his $0) to get my freedom (and I wasn't the one playing away from home, which brought about the divorce anyway). I don't know, maybe I'll say something to my neighbour the next time Jo comes up - or maybe I shouldn't. Am I being over sensitive? I'm not sure on that one!

Anyway, on to less cerebral things! I was messing around on Google Earth yesterday and had great fun googling my address and seeing my house with my car in the driveway. So then I googled my ex mother-in-law's place and saw her car in her driveway too. It kinda made me a little sad as I have fond memories of both my mother-in-law and father-in-law in that house, and now pap is dead, amme (MIL) is old and I'm divorced from their son. I guess time moves on faster than we care to think doesn't it. So then I googled my ex's address in PA (I know, nosy cow aren't I, but he gave me the address) and it's a nice place he's got (although his windows could do with a good clean). But google earth is really something. So then I googled my address when I was growing up in Birmingham and see that the school that I attended, and which backed on to our back garden, is now huge - about three times what it was when I was there. Oh, and then I read that Birmingham City Council are trying to push through a motion to make all of the city centre a car-free zone! Wow! Good luck with that, I think it would be wonderful. In fact, as long as I can remember Birmingham's City Council has had a reputation for being very dynamic and forward thinking (probably something to do with all the ladies on the board - it's the boobs ya know) so I really hope this comes to pass. Not that it will affect me, of course, but good on them for giving it a shot!

Spaghetti Junction, Birmingham
The above is a picture of Spaghetti Junction in Birmingham. I only ever drove round it a couple of times but I think I was about 18 when I got on those roads one time and about 21 by the time I found the right exit!

In other news I've been slowly continuing my attempts to learn more about France in connection with my request for citizenship. There's a lot to learn but I honestly don't mind - I just have to park my bum and get down to it. But today at the drinks with the neighbours I asked them to name all the French presidents since the beginning of the Fifth Republic (established in 1958) and no-one could do it - so I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track then if the French don't even know the answers!

And wrapping up, I see that Kirk Douglas has finally died at the grand old age of 103. To be honest, I wasn't a fan of the man or his films. I don't have a lot of time for serial cheaters, but then I guess that was a matter between him and his wife wasn't it. Can't stand Michael either but … In any case, talk about having good genes though, with both him and his wife living in to their 100s and seemingly in reasonable health to boot. That is quite an achievement in this day and age isn't it! Not sure it's one I'd want to emulate but when you consider the alternative who knows!

18 comments:

  1. I finally got my follow fixed! I was just moaning about blogger redirecting my many attempts. Finally it worked. I wore them down. So my request to you for email follow is hereby null and void.But thank you.

    I long ago got US citizenship (originally a Yorkshirewoman) and for a while I was more civically knowledgeable than most of my friends, because of studying what they'd learned in fifth grade and forgotten. I could compete with any fifth grader, bring it! So I'm not surprised your French friends aren't totally up on their civics.

    I so loved Fiona Hill and her self description before her testimony. I can echo a lot of her experience as a working class girl who had to emigrate for opportunities. I owe the US a lot and now she's in big trouble I'm fighting for her.

    I'm also making valentine candy and origami containers for it, because you've got to multitask!

    I love your blog, so happy to have found it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eee bah gum lass we did it finally! I'm a real technophobe so had to fiddle around with my blog to add the "follow" button but we got there in the end. When I lived in the States I could have asked for citizenship too but at the time the US wouldn't allow dual citizenship (that changed shortly afterwards) and I wouldn't give up my British passport. But can you imagine if I'd gone for it. Heck I'd need a backpack just to carry my passports around! In fact if my kids go for citizenship in the future (Swiss for André and French for Jordan) that will make 3 passports for them too. Crikey. And it was one of my dearest wishes to start visiting Yorkshire "when" my friend Steve got better. Sadly he didn't and died in August so I missed out on visiting that lovely part of the country. Anyway, thanks for commenting on my blog and I'll pop over to your blog and start reading. Cheers. Anna

      Delete
  2. My rule of thumb is this: Never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless she is in active labor and you can actually see the baby's head crowning. I adopted this rule due to more than one highly embarrassing situations such as the ones you mention.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You live and learn don't you. But this woman had an absolutely solid-looking 7 month fetus in there I swear so I can't blame the cashier!!

      Delete
  3. It was good of you to respond, thank you. And though I've got my follow sorted, it might be helpful to other people trying to get through!

    I'm from the North riding -- if you ever watched All Creatures Great and Small, that's my home area. Hefted to the moors. Language full of Norse words. I had to change a lot of my expressions when I went to uni.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Hefted" - yep I heard that a lot when I've watched Clive and Amanda Owens on their Yorkshire farm. I love all those old words too! And I bet they thought an alien had landed when you went to the States!

      Delete
  4. I was never a big fan of Kirk either, could never see what the attraction was, and I agree with you about Michael.

    There are still a lot of men around who feel $$$ add to the mystique of their masculinity and, unfortunately, there are a lot of women who don't mind freeloading.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's a sad reflection on society when a fat wallet makes a man think he looks irresistible and a woman believes it. But then I think they probably deserve each other don't they!

      Delete
  5. Just remember, don't hold it against people when they have mooney, my GF said the exact same thing about a lovely man who she was set up with. He later had some issues with his business and has less money now but they are still extremely happy together - this 8 years later. She was going to hold it against him and I said to give him a chance, the poor man was just successful and shouldn't be tossed aside because of that :) Unfortunately your neighbor is either an idiot or had an idiotic moment...perhaps back when he was dating that was important but times have changed, OBVIOUSLY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I know you're right. Trouble is I grew up in a poor area and it was rough. Not through my parents' generation but it was my generation banging out kids left, right and centre with different "men" and then having the state pick up the tab. I know one girl I was at school with who had 5 kids by 5 different married "men" (about 18 years old) who were all married to someone else. Consequently she never worked in her life and those kids didn't have much chance either. Last time I saw her I was on the bus going to college and she was sitting on the wall of a pub downing a pint and about 7 months pregnant. So because of that I've always been fiercely independent and determined to look after myself. But you're right. There's definitely a wealth snob, maybe I'm a poverty snob!

      Delete
  6. If your neighbour brought up that Jo had money again, I'd say something - along the lines of money doesn't make someone nice and that you don't need looking after financially. I get why you'd be upset, but I think it is fairly common to mention finances when attempting to set up no longer young people - not that being rich makes someone more attractive but more that you can know he won't be scamming or fleecing you.

    How horrid about the young man who died. I have a fear of steep, narrow, wind-y roads. Often have to shut my eyes. Can be so bad that I break out in a rash! Lucinda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I might make a comment if he says it again, something about money not being everything. But we're not there yet (or maybe ever) so it might come to nothing, hopefully!

      Delete
  7. Years into a research job, I asked if I were the token old woman, and my boss said, "Frankly, yes." So, I had a job and was good at it. I was working, so I did not care.

    I would be offended about saying they needed women, Yes, I would be offended because there were so many men and women were not included from the beginning just because they were women.

    I have found that bringing a penis with me when I am doing something, like getting car repaired, helps. Men are aghast when I ask them to bring a penis to my problem, but they understand and do not mind lending their body part for a bit.

    A guy here in the US was going to cross the interstate to help on the other side. He leapt over the barrier to the other side, thinking he was on solid ground. He leapt into a 50' drop off. The interstates happened to be on bridges, but there was no way to know. He died, too. Look before you leap.

    That would REALLY irritate me if someone thought money was the motivation to like someone, especially if the guy himself tells me. I would have to question, nicely, the guy and ask him if he thought I was after a guy with money. Then, I would drop it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, I remember at work one time there was some kind of committee (of about 12 people I think) and they needed a replacement for someone who was leaving. So a female colleague was suggested as a possible replacement, to which the answer was "but we've already got one woman". I think the guy saw my mouth drop and then muttered something about what a wonderful choice that lady would be. And I think you might be right about needing to take a man (even a man who knows nothing about cars) when you go to a garage. I always go to my local Ford garage and am friendly with the owner (who loves to practice his English with me) and I trust him. Same for my cars. I find one I like, knock a bit off the asking price and then go with that. It's a "take it or leave it" offer and they usually accept so we're both happy, even if I really am being ripped off!

      Delete
  8. I would never ask a woman if she was pregnant, even if she's wearing a Baby On Board t-shirt!

    As for Kirk, while I wasn't a fan of his acting,he does get props for helping end the Hollywood blacklist in the 50s and hiring writers who'd been forced out of work because of their politics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I'll concede on Kirk Douglas with the Hollywood writers. Nobody is all black or white after all, I just didn't like him or rate his acting much either, but then we're all different anyway aren't we!

      Delete
  9. My DH did that once years ago...asked a woman when her baby was due.....oops! He's never done that again, haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you live and learn don't you. Somebody asked my mom that once and she was in her 50s!

      Delete