Oh the irony!

I sent off for a renewal of my British passport last week even though it still has another year to run on it. I changed back to my maiden name around 2016 and when I sent my passport off to get my name changed, they took the remaining years of validity on it and added that to the length of my new 10-year passport, effectively giving me a passport that was valid for about 13 years, if I remember correctly. Problem is, even though the Brits will recognize that validity length, the European Union won't recognize anything beyond the 10-year mark so I decided to get it renewed early. So there's another official document winging its way back to me with a god-awful photo on it. Luckily, at this point I don't care!

The heat here, like most places, is bloody awful. We're regularly hitting around 35C (95F) - which is a little unusual for this early - and yesterday it was 39C (102F) as I walked back to my car! I'm dealing with it by taking three cold showers a day but it really is taking a toll on people as most don't have AC over here - or at least, not in this part of France. Maybe a bit further south, but who knows. When I went shopping I saw that they had extra "curtains" pulled down over the freezer sections in order to try to protect the products, but I've already seen a couple of UK bloggers saying how frozen goods in their local supermarkets were not available as the freezers had packed up! Crikey, that must be a huge headache for the stores! Hopefully, we could be getting some rain starting next week and more normal temperatures, but have I ever mentioned before how much I hate the heat? Give me the cold any day!

I went to get a massage earlier in the week and was complaining to the lovely Thai lady how much the heat affected me. She, of course, looked like a million dollars with her hair pulled up in a bun, and tied with flowers, while I looked like something the cat had dragged in but hey, whaddaya gonna do! So then we got to talking about hair and its problems, so I told her about how my friend had worked at a hairdressers when she was a teenager and an older lady had walked in and asked if it was "a bisexual salon"!!! Another old biddy tried to make an appointment for a "cut and blow job", and we ended up crying from laugher! Oh, and those Mrs. Malaprop old ladies were probably younger than I am now so the future doesn't look very promising, does it!

I guess the heat has been addling brains at the old fogies club too because in my absence Martine took the cash box from the tombola home after our lunch the other week, and then phoned me in a panic saying that we were €100 short! We were racking our brains trying to figure out what had happened and she kept swearing that she hadn't touched any of it (we didn't think that anyway), but eventually called me back to say that while counting out the notes she'd put 32 x €5 down as €60 instead of €160, so no harm no foul! Then I was checking the bank statement against my own excel table and was coming up €300 short every time. I knew it had to be recent because I'd been spot on until end May but I spent ages poring over that thing until I spotted an entry in my excel table where I'd typed in a line entry but not the corresponding amount (€300) - more likely, I'd accidentally deleted it somehow! And then Monique (the President) handed me photocopies of payment cheques for our trip to Andalusia in September and I told her I hadn't seen them. She insisted I must have because here were the photocopies, but I had no trace of them. That's when she realized she'd left the originals on her printer at home! She was really upset about "being an old fool" but I just laughed and said that at least she hadn't put them in the fridge so there was nothing to worry about as yet! And in any case, he who never made a mistake never made anything, did he!

On my way to club there is a stretch of road that is single lane only, but when I got to it it was totally blocked off by the police and I had to take a detour. When I left club that evening it was still blocked off and I saw that a learner bus was blocking the whole road. I have no idea what happened (but presumably no-one was injured as there were no emergency services present). Looks to me like it must have broken down - but I was so glad it wasn't me sitting there trying to figure out how to get the bloody thing out of the way! I have enough trouble parking my car!

I kept Charlie again on Wednesday and we spent about an hour in the park as it was way too hot to be out there. He had me looking for twigs, leaves and petals so that we could make a collage of a tree for his mom, but he made me laugh when he told me that the twigs "had to be straight, but he only wanted the vertical ones, not the horizontal ones"! Huh????

On another note, is anyone else sick of AI yet?? No - so just me then? While I realize it can be useful, I'm already sick to death of these AI "stories" on Youtube. There's usually an old biddy named Margaret, whose husband (usually Robert or Gerald) passed away a few years ago. She was born and raised in Virginia but sounds more British than the Queen and has this drony voice and the slow hand movements that are a dead giveaway. Then the stories of the younger AI people - they're usually Britany and Markus (who always looks like Piers Brosnan), and there is usually some outrageous story about how Markus runs off with her best friend but doesn't know that she won $17 million on the lottery the week before! I watched a few at the beginning but I can't help thinking this AI drivel is killing the art of real story-telling!

And talking of rubbish, I started watching The Boroughs on Netflix, because I like Alfred Molina, and oh man was it terrible. In fact it was so bad it was funny, so I did end up watching to the end, even if I couldn't get past staring at Geena Davis' veneers. Paz being a nice bit of eye candy made up for it a bit, but there's still only so much eye candy can do! On the other hand, I only recently realized that Series 5 of Clarkson's Farm is out on Amazon and I'm loving it. I love Jeremy anyway, although I realize he's marmite (like marmite, you love him or you hate him), but seeing him and Kaleb visiting a floating farm in the city of Rotterdam was just amazing. I loved seeing how well thought out the Dutch farm was and of course Clarkson was in his element trying out all the new (very expensive) "toys" on his own farm. I just love it!

Charlie's school had its end-of-year kermesse on Saturday and just like last year it was again scorching. They'd got quite a few games set out for the kids which included water so at least the kids were able to cool down. It was very well done, as always, and I think the adults had almost as much fun as the kids!

Elynn watching the tug-of-war!

André and Charlie against Jordan!

Then today, their little town had its music festival, with the roads blocked off for the marching bands. I didn't go as I'd had enough of the heat, but from the videos Jen sent me it looked very good. The previous mayor (he was recently elected to the French National Assembly) came back from Paris for the day to visit and addressed the crowd in the sports stadium. From what I've seen on social media, he is working hard in the interests of this region. What he will be able to achieve remains to be seen, politics being what it is, but he definitely seems to be putting the work in!

And finally, Friday was the only day I had free this week so I planned to take a drive down to the lake at Passy - except when I tried to start my car nothing happened - there was zip/nada. No battery, no spluttering, no nothing. Damn! So I ended up calling out my roadside insurers (who were very efficient) but he was having no luck either until I told him about the time I'd broken down at the recycling centre because one of the nuts attaching wires to the battery had come loose - and bingo, there it was again. He told me to get Ford to take a look at it because it looked like vibrations when driving could be causing this nut to come loose. Anyhoo, I decided to take myself into town to have a look at a car I'd been interested in for sometime, given that my Ford is now 15 years old. I spent about two hours with the sales guy and then popped over the road to the local market. There was a parking space next to the trolley bay but I left that empty and took the second space over. As I came back to my car a youngish man was squeezing his car into the space between my car and trolley bay (there were plenty of empty spaces a little further away) and he gave me a funny look as he struggled out of his car. I was pissed off because he'd parked so close that I actually had to climb in through the passenger door but once in I drove home and parked up. Next morning I realized that he'd obviously hit my car while squeezing into that parking space, hence the funny look he gave me when he saw me standing there. My car was perfectly fine when I left the dealership so it could only have been him and he'd done a runner on me. The irony is that I'd actually signed up for a new car at the dealership 10 minutes earlier and they'd be taking my old one off my hands in exchange. Oh they won't be getting screwed with my banged up car because as it's over 15 years old it has to be scrapped. So the real irony is that I'd had that car 15 years and never put a ding in it, and 10 minutes after I'd sold it he scraped half the driver's side off. Doesn't bother me ya jerk - but hey, I hope your car looks worse than mine!

This and that!

As I said in my previous post, things have been pretty hectic for the past six weeks or so, and a good bit of that was in connection with the old fogies club. The club meets every Tuesday afternoon for about four hours where they play cards or scrabble or whatever and then every so often throughout the year they organize lunches, day trips and once a year a longer trip. This year it's to Seville in September and as I'll be going I'm really looking forward to that one. The thing is, every "extra" event involves a lot of work for the committee, with the Mothers' Day/Fathers' Day lunch last week meaning we had to spend Thursday afternoon setting up tables for around 100 people and then washing up and putting the room back to rights after the lunch, in addition to organizing the caterer, the band, the tombola and so on. It's a lot of work but that isn't what bothers me so much as the fact that the "extras" cut into my free days during the week so often. Well apparently I'm not the only one who feels like that because we had a committee meeting the Friday before to discuss future events and how that would look for the committee. Monique, the president, is feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment, as is Martine (the secretary - who really is the mainstay of the whole club) because there is very little help from anyone other than our small committee of eight. Soooo, long story short, we've decided to cut back on the number of lunches per year and use the services of a local restaurant who not only serve excellent food but also come in and set up/tear down the place too! While we will still decorate for Christmas it was decided that nobody was going up any ladders to decorate anymore and since the average age of the club members is probably nearer 80 than 70, and no-one is exactly knocking the door down to step in and help, we are going to simplify as much as possible - and if anyone complains (they will) well, they're very welcome to step up and pitch in! I mean, some of us have actual lives outside the club!

That being said, the lunch on Friday went very well, with just a few initial tensions because this one wanted to sit with that one and there weren't enough seats together, but they'd been warned to get there early if they wanted to reserve grouped seats. Martine does an excellent job of chasing up payments, the cheques never being cashed before the event because people inevitably get ill or drop out the day of, and then we have one or two who always pay in cash (which tends to make my job more difficult keeping track of the finances), but still, it went well and looking ahead to a somewhat calmer future has eased the tension within the committee to some extent!

I sit and people watch once the dancing starts and it's really nice to see the avid dancers having such a great time. There is one man who fascinates me because he is always on the dance floor and while he does indeed have teeth, he "gurns" while dancing, by which I mean his mouth takes on the aspect of someone without teeth and he seemingly counts to the beat of the music with his mouth looking like a goldfish struggling for air! Still he's a nice enough man and it's good to see him having fun - I just wish I could stop staring!

Comedian Les Dawson
"gurning"!

Towards the end of the evening, birthday girl Georgette (she just turned 95) asked to sing and proceeded to sit alone on the stage and sing in a surprisingly strong voice what must have been popular French ballads. People started singing with her and she started to cry but I'm afraid I don't know what happened next because I had to dash off to Charlie's end-of-school concert, which started 30 minutes later!

The theme this year was "the sea and all its mysteries". The kids did really well (hats off to the teachers again) but I had to laugh when a bunch of "pirates" stormed the stage looking for treasure. I guess the parents must have been asked to provide pirates' hats because one little kid's hat was so big and floppy you could barely see his face and when I commented to my neighbour that he looked like a mobile mushroom, we both got a fit of the giggles because she was seeing exactly what I was!

At one point André's girlfriend's ex walked over to her dad and put out his hand. Dad promptly pointed out very loudly that as the man who had abandoned his daughter with a five year old, a newborn and a wreck of a house to chase younger tail, he had no desire to shake his hand and he could just "toodle off dear chappy" (or swear words to that effect)! I didn't know where to put myself, but I guess if that's the way you feel, why put on a show just to be polite (and I can't say I really blame him)!

After club on Tuesday I had the prospect of five entire days with no commitments - which was such a lovely thought I decided to take myself off to do a hike I'd spotted on FB. It was classed as "easy" (although I should know better by now) and being pleasantly shady, so I punched the address into my GPS and by midday I was starting my climb up to the Cascade de Morette! I think under other circumstances (ie not so hot) it might not have been too bad, but given that the reason it was shady was because it was in the middle of a forest, I should have realized that tree roots would be like some kind of death trap triffids. Oh I can get up there, even if it means climbing over some pretty high rocks, but the tree roots really were potential death traps, and it occurred to me at one point that it was a pretty stupid thing to do to go up there alone. In the end I found the waterfall, sat there for a while to cool off, and then decided to head back down to the car park (downhill being potentially more of a death trap than the uphill part). So yep, I'm glad I did it but it did make me realize just how unfit I am and that if I want that to change I need to up my game!

Cascade de Morette

I would have loved a dip in this pool
but I don't think I could have climbed
back out!

I only just realized that I could ask google
what the beautiful wild flowers were -
this one's part of the geranium family apparently!

"Here in 1793 was the insurgents' camp
in memory of Marguerite Frichelet-Avet
and her companions!"

I had to look up Marguerite Frichelet-Avet. Apparently in the late 1700s this region was annexed by the French, who expropriated (is that the right word?) the locals' property and began conscripting their young men into the French army. Marguerite - who was referred to as the Savoyard Joan of Arc - began helping the resistance, treating the wounded and smuggling arms and goods to the insurgents. She was captured and shot in Annecy at the young age of 37! (and there's another bit of local history I didn't think I'd ever learn)!

On the way back to the parking lot I spotted what looked like a shrine and I'm pretty sure the water running down the cliff was used by locals in much the same way as Lourdes water in that it is believed to have healing properties. In fact, just down the road from me is La Benite Fontaine (the blessed fountain) and many locals go fill water bottles up from the spring there, swearing it also has healing properties - or at the very least, is good for your health!

If you look closely, you can
see a (live) butterfly on
Mary's right hand!

"Thank you Mary, 1932"!

After I got back to my car I decided to head off to find a local lake, which I knew couldn't be too far away. I sat there and had a drink to cool off, and while it was pretty enough, I'm not sure I would go there again as the lake at Passy still takes some beating as far as I'm concerned!

Lac de Thuy!

Technicolour beehives!

All in all, Wednesday was a good day, but to say I was sore on Thursday would be an understatement!! In the morning I went to the bank to deposit money for the club and then decided to head out to La Roche market for a change. For once it was easy to find parking and while my North African vendor was already selling off his fruit and veg, I didn't buy much. In the end I just bought a bowl of eight heads of garlic for €2 and a huge bowl of fresh mushrooms, again for €2, so I'll have to be chopping that all up and freezing it tomorrow!

It was another pleasant day, although the searing heat is making itself felt with a vengeance. By the time I got back from the market I was a sweaty mess with what looked like a full afro. In the end, why even bother trying to look presentable?

I'll be glad of a break!

Man am I ever glad May is over! While there were lots of fun events it just seemed like circumstances dictated that they all ended up happening in May, rather than spread out over a longer period, and it was exhausting - even if it was a fun month. On a positive note, Airbnb posted a review on us from the owner of the house we rented in Auvergne and she said we were "very respectful of the property and left it spotless" so I'm happy about that. I knew, of course, that visitors rated their experiences but I didn't know that the owners actually rated the renters too, but then I suppose it's a good way to let other owners know about potential future renters!

The G7 is meeting in Evian next week and the whole place is locked down, stretching out even as far as our little town. It's about 40 minutes from here to Evian but the exhibition halls in town are being used as barracks for the military so even though, logically, we shouldn't be so affected by the meeting, many of our roads have been rerouted to avoid passing near the barracks. People living in and around Evian are really complaining though, as businesses (restaurants etc.) are losing money, as are the pleasure boats on Lake Geneva as you can't get within a few miles of the place. They even have military up in the mountains on both sides of the lake to make sure that people with ill intent aren't camped out up there waiting for the meeting. People who cross from France into Geneva for work were told to expect delays of between four and six hours to cross the borders so those that can do so will obviously be working from home until the G7 is over (and probably loving not having the daily commute too)!

Totally unrelated to the G7 is the recent fire at the big toll road leading into Geneva. A man had stopped in order to pay and his car suddenly went up in flames (although luckily no-one was hurt), so I can't even begin to imagine what the traffic is like on that road until they can get the infrastructure up and running again. And, yet again, I will forever thank God I'm retired!!!!!

May is also the month where I get a visit from the chimney sweep, which is money for old rope in my case because I haven't used my wood burner even once in the last year so there's actually nothing to sweep. But if my certificate isn't up to date my house insurance isn't valid so while yep, it really is money for old rope, I just have to grit my teeth and pay it. And talking of creatures on a set schedule, I see that I'd written in my diary that "the pushy gypsy guy" should be showing up anytime around now. I think he's a traveller and comes knocking on doors round here telling the great and gullible what needs doing to their homes. To be fair, he does fairly decent work, but I really resent being pressured into emplyoing him for various jobs, particularly since it will inevitably cost me €1,000 and "I'd rather have that in cash, if you don't mind"! There is one particular job that I want doing on my roof so I'll be contacting a company my neighbour recommended to me, but in the meantime, I'm so glad I disconnected my front doorbell and I'll try my best to "be out" when he comes around, as "pushy" really should be his middle name!

Last week I had my appointment at the hospital to see if anything could be done about what looks like a black spot on my right eyeball that I noticed after pressure-spraying my back terrace. They told me to apply numbing eye drops to both eyes in advance and consequently I had to get a taxi there and back since my friend was away and I wasn't allowed to drive. Turns out the "black spot" in my field of vision isn't as a result of damage to my eye (and she did explain what it was but I can't remember what it's called) and it's not something to worry about unless I start seeing loads of black spots and/or flashes of colour, so I'm good to go and hopefully it will clear up on its own. The taxi clocked up €40 on the way to the hospital and he told me I could settle up with him after the return journey but when he went to charge me just €45 for the entire trip I reminded him that I hadn't paid the first leg yet. He just laughed and said "oh we'll call it a round trip for €45 then", so I guess I made up for the chimney sweep rip-off by finding a decent taxi firm - who I will definitely use again if needed!

I kept Charlie again on the Wednesday and then Jen asked if I could keep both kids on the Saturday evening for them to go out for dinner with my oldest and his girlfriend. Charlie had skinned his knees in a fall at school and Elynn had run into a wall and ended up with a huge scrape across her forehead and what looked like the beginnings of a black eye, but in the end they were no trouble at all. Elynn is really easy to put to bed and Charlie was too after we'd watched Ice Age until about 10.30 pm! I loved that movie and we now use Sid's catch phrase "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die - first I'm gonna throw up, and then I'm gonna die" whenever we're a bit nervous about something. I got home around 1 am and to bed around 2, which was unfortunate as everyone was coming to my place for lunch the next day, the 31st being not only Mother's Day in France but also Jordan's 34th birthday. We were lucky in that it had forecast rain but we ended up with blue skies and hot weather, hot enough for me to get out the little paddling pool I'd bought and the water pistols for the kids (adults?) to enjoy!

Jen and Charlie ready to ambush!

So I've been really busy the entire month of May, and every day last week too. I actually have quite a few administrative things to sort out, but this weekend I think I'm just going to take it easy, read my current book (Lie Down With Wolves by Ken Follett) and try not to do much of anything for a while. One thing I will be sorting out though is the renewal of my British passport. I got photos taken at the booth when I went shopping on Tuesday and oh my goodness what a fright I look. I don't actually care too much to start messing around trying to get a good photo but I did get to wondering if other people do and if they try to use filters and/or AI to make themselves look better. I'm pretty sure none of that is allowed and also that the passport authorities can most likely spot it anyway, but lordy lordy, my photo is terrible. So is the photo on my French passport because after all you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, can you, but I seriously look like a drug mule in both! I suppose it just depends on whether I want to look like a British drug mule or a French drug mule when I decide which passport to hand over! Decisions, decisions!

Weekend at the safari park!

I mentioned last year that we as a family have now decided to give experiences rather than gifts to everyone at Christmas in future (except for the littles, of course), so while I was trying to come up with some ideas Jen asked if I wanted to go in with them on a joint two-night stay at the Parc Animalier d'Auvergne. It got me off the hook so they bought tickets for everyone and I paid for the Airbnb. We ended up being seven adults, two five year olds and two littles, so it was quite a challenge to find somewhere that would accommodate all of us. I left that bit to Jen as she's a real ferret when it comes to finding these places and I just whipped out my bank card at the appropriate time. The house was not nearly as nice as the place where we stayed at the polar park, but very interesting in its own way in that had formerly been two houses which were knocked into one and the whole place was a bit Harry Potterish, with stairs everywhere, so not at all suitable for anyone with limited mobility!

There were four floors with two large bedrooms in the attic with what I considered to be pretty dangerous access stairs, but my two boys and their wife/gf plus the babies offered to stay up there, Charlie and his friend Milan had a double room with two single beds, Jen's mom and her partner had another double room and I had a double to myself. I had been dealing with the daughter while booking the place, but when she arrived to hand over the keys she came with her mom, who I found a bit "snippy" - maybe because she was worried about having such a large party in the house, or maybe because she'd already had bad experiences with other guests - but other than that feeling, the beds were clean and comfortable and the shower was hot so we were pretty happy with the place. Wherever we've stayed previously we've always left the place spotless, but I also took the precaution of taking pictures of every room before we left and accompanying the owner round on the final walk through, so I'm pleased to say everyone was happy in the end. I only mention this because a colleague of mine had once rented an Airbnb, had left the place spotless, and then the owner tried to say that they'd left it in a filthy state and would have to pay extra for a clean. Luckily she'd taken pictures before they left so the owner didn't get any more money out of them and my friend reported them to Airbnb! In the end, everything was fine for us but I just had a bad feeling about this lady - or maybe she was just having an off day when she let us in!

We'd arranged between us to take pretty much all food and drink with us, rather than paying park prices, although a few drinks and ice creams were bought inside the park all the same. It was a scorching hot and while the kids enjoyed seeing the animals, I think they probably enjoyed the rides more. Either way, it was a huge success!

At the entrance - there were loads of people
pouring in when we got there but the park
was big enough that it didn't have that
"Disney" feel to it!

Charlie and Milan probably enjoyed
the cooling stations the most!

After we'd checked out I thought we were just going to go straight home but Jen had other ideas and wanted us to stop off at what turned out to be a lovely medieval town called Cluny. It was way too hot for me so I sat it out listening to one of the guides by the church, Jen's mom went window shopping, and the kids followed a circuit that would take them to all the main features of the old town in about an hour. I probably would have enjoyed it too but searing heat and frizzy hair just weren't doing it for me that day!

Cluny!

I sat by the church to wait it out!

Since we didn't get back till late I missed our village fête which by all accounts was a roaring success as usual. The police have now taken to blocking off the main access roads into the village so you end up driving half way up the mountain just to get home, but if it keeps traffic away from revellers dancing in the street so much the better!

And finally, I was talking to my sister after I got back and she was saying that she'd started ordering in a few meals for my brother from a local farm shop. It's not a contract kind of think like Hallo Fresh, but they apparently make good meals and it will give her a break from always worrying about him. He's independent enough in that he worked all his life and has lived on his own since mom and dad died, but being quite severely autistic, he tends not to take the initiative and rarely does anything (like maintenance or cleaning) unless she specifically asks/tells him to. Anyway they were over at his place recently and noticed that the floor was looking a little the worse for wear, so they decided to get him one of those robot vacuum cleaners, show him how to work it, and hopefully that would put an end to her having to tell him to clean the floors. Well the other day he called her to say that the vacuum wasn't working - it had only cleaned the living room/dining room but not the bedrooms so she and my long-suffering BIL drove over there to find out how he'd buggered it up already. They set it off and it was indeed working correctly so they were perplexed at what was going wrong - that is until she asked him "Roy, was the living room door open"? His response "ohhhhh"! My poor sister, she has the patience of a saint, but I must admit it gave me a good laugh!

Facteur Cheval!

So I got back from Lake Garda at the end of the week and then on the Tuesday I had another trip planned, although admittedly this was only a day trip. Still it meant getting up at around 4 am to get to the bus depot in time to leave at 6 am. The old fogies club in St. Pierre were doing this trip two days after my trip (with the same bus company) but as I wanted to travel with my friend we booked up for the trip that was to leave two days earlier. This was to a place called Facteur Cheval and I had no idea what it was about, other than a few photos. Now cheval is French for horse, so I imagined it was something to do with horses, but I was so, so wrong. In fact Facteur Chaval referred to Facteur (mailman) Cheval (that was his name)!!! So the whole visit revolved around a certain Monsieur Cheval who had been a mail carrier!

Apparently, one day in 1879, he came across an interesting stone during his daily 32 km mail carrier route! I questioned that twice with our guide but yes, apparently, his route was almost 20 miles long every day on foot - so no wonder they weren't fat in those days! Anyhoo, he decided that this stone was so beautiful that he wanted to build a "monument" to it and so every day on his rounds he picked up stones to add to whatever vision he had for his final monument! It took 33 years and 93,000 hours of work!

Ferdinand Cheval!

As is our wont, my friend and I listened to the guide for a while and then wandered off on our own. While it's nice listeneng to guides and I certainly appreciate their knowledge, I find I just can't take in so many dates and, in the end, who cares anyway. Ferdinand Cheval was an incredible man who was not, ultimately, allowed to be buried in the grounds of his creation on land that he owned, so he subsequently spent eight more years building his own replica tomb in the grounds of a nearby cemetery! It was definitely an interesting experience!

My friend and I eventually skipped the guided tour and wandered round the museum and then went to get a coffee. If we had realized that the local market was on I think we would have skipped out sooner but hey ho, that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes!

After lunch we headed off to a local chocolaterie and I have to be honest and say that this was the biggest disappointment. Of course we had a very personable young man to give us a 45 minute speech about their chocolates and how they are made and then we were each given a dish with six small chocolates where we had to "analyse" the taste - was it bitter, peppery, sweet, sour? I mean, give me a break, it was chocolate and to be honest I'd had enough after 10 minutes and one guy fell asleep in front of me so I reckon it wasn't just me! Admittedly the room was dark and hot but still, I'd had enough. After that we were invited to visit the shop but since I didn't like their chocolates anyway I bought a small packet of the only chocolate that I found palatable! Oddly enough, the St. Pierre old fogies club were to be doing the same trip with the same tour operator two days later and from feedback I've had from Martine (the club secretary) they were all very disappointed with the chocolaterie visit too. Still, time for positive/critical feedback to the tour company would seem to be in order on skipping this part of the visit next time!

Homeward bound!

On our last day the hotel supplied breakfast for us at 6 am in order for us to be on the road by 7 (thank you hotel staff). We are normally only allowed to travel so many hours at a time because the driver is obliged to stop and rest but even so we made good time to arrive at the Forti de Bard in time for our 11.30 guided tour. To be honest I wasn't overly enthused about the prospect of visiting this fort because I've passed it many times and always thought it looked "dreary". The valley at Bard is very narrow and the mountains are particularly high so the fort always seems to be sitting in shaded gloom, but I dutifully trudged my way up from the car park for our tour - and boy oh boy was I wrong about the place. It was such an interesting visit where our incredibly enthusiastic volunteer guide told us all about its history (most of which I can no longer remember of course). What I hadn't realized was that this region (Upper and Lower Savoy) had not only been fought over by the French and the Italians, but also what we now know as modern day Austrians had once controlled it! It's amazing how much I don't know!!!! At one point Napoleon was marching his men (plus mules and cannons) down what must have been a dirt track over the alps in order to do battle with Count von Whatever from Austria, and in order to take the enemy by surprise, they spread mule muck and straw over the track in order to muffle the sound of the cannon wheels - and that's about the extent of what I took from our visit!

We had to take three funiculars up to the top where our guide showed us round the central courtyard where they hold concerts and other cultural events. The fort truly was so much more interesting than I had given it credit for!

Il Forti de Bard

Looking down over the village of Bard!

Now you're probably wondering what a yeti, Hulk, Ironman and Captain America are doing in this blog post. Well it turns out that Marvel's Age of Ultron was filmed using the fort as a backdrop and the film-makers left behind some of their "props" as a thank you gesture, much to the delight of the group of young kids who were following us around on our tour!

Age of Ultron?

After that some caught the funicular back down to the village while others walked, after which it was supposed to be straight back to the depot, but a few people asked if we could do a quick stop at the hypermarket just before the French border. I believe cigarettes and alcohol are cheaper this side of the border but I usually just end up buying huge blocks of Italian cheese and then wondering what on earth to do with it all when I get home!

Walking back to the bus!

Our driver didn't have to stop at all as it wasn't on the programme but he very kindly did so and then cracked open the ubiquitous bottle of limoncello to hand round before our final run up to the French border (the drivers obviously don't drink)! When we made it back to the depot there was actually snow on my car so we really had been lucky to have such great weather in Italy. As we'd all left our keys in our cars in order for the staff to park them it was just a matter of rummaging round in the key box like a bunch of wife swappers to get our keys and a quick 15 minute drive home!

Circumstances being what they were, I had another day trip on Tuesday, but I'll have to write about that later, and then tomorrow we're off for a family weekend to an animal park, which is actually my Christmas present to the family. Seven adults and four kids - so better take the ear plugs and bottle opener then. I don't normally plan for these things to all take place at the same time, and indeed my next trip isn't until September when I'm off to Andalucia, but considering it all happened more or less at the same time, I have to say that, while tiring, it's been a really good couple of weeks!