After work last night I stopped in to say hi to my mate Stan again and lo and behold my ex's skank ex-girlfriend showed up there again. I know to expect it of course because she lives about 150 metres away from me but I wish someone would just do a "beam me up Scotty" on her and have her end up in a magical land, far, far away. As I guess that's not going to happen anytime soon I shall just have to keep on sticking my nose in the air.
It did get me to thinking again about a few things though. When my ex first buggered off, after much egging on by my friends I joined an internet dating site. I have written about this before and while I did indeed meet a few nice men on there (just one sicko), it wasn't for me. I mean, I was married 26 years and the internet wasn't even around when I first started dating! But the whole episode did bring to mind another incident while on this site which was an absolute hoot.
One night I got a message from a lady called Mary - "did I want to chat"? Now she wasn't a "woman looking for a woman", she was a "woman looking for a man" but explained that she hopped over to the "other side" to see what kinds of drivel some of the women were writing in their profiles. I knew exactly what she meant because the men who were "sensual, romantic, liking long walks on the beach" etc. were really starting to get on my t*ts. I mean, have you ever met anyone - male or female - who was any or all of those things? I haven't. I had actually put a real tongue-in-cheek profile which was funny, and I'm convinced that is why I did so well on that site - in fact that was what made Mary contact me. Turns out she was Irish and worked close to me so we agreed to go out for a pizza one night and a chinwag. Well what a blast we had! She had been married and when we compared notes on our exes we were doubled up laughing. I have to say that was one of the funniest evenings out I had had in a long time and definitely worth doing. I think she retired back to Ireland not long after that so wherever you are Mary, I hope you are still having a blast!
On an only slightly related topic, since I enjoy writing my blog, as you will imagine I also enjoy reading other people's blogs. In fact, when I "discovered" blogs I was in little piggy heaven because as someone who loves to read there was a huge great bloggy universe out there just waiting to be read on any topic I could wish for!
I like reading cookery blogs, crafty blogs, chit-chat blogs you name it. Recently I came across a fabulous blog that has been going a few years about people who had been cheated on by narcissist/psycho partners and it was/is such a great read. BTW, I don't consider my ex to be in that bracket but I certainly had an ex-boss who was the supreme example of a psychopath so it really is interesting to read about it from that perspective. And while there are many, many sad tales on this blog there is also an awful lot of gallows humour. I have been reading the whole blog from the beginning and it is taking me ages (I am up to June 2013 at the moment). Well in last night's post the blogger had written an internet dating site profile for her ex-husband. Other people then chimed in with their own versions, sometimes giving the "what he really means by that" comments in square brackets.
One lady wrote for her ex-husband:
"Age 57, great physique, am told I look 10 years younger, a real stallion!" (or words to that effect).
She then wrote her version of his profile:
"Age 57, looks 67, drives like he's 97 and acts like he's 27. Takes three lots of medication for high cholesterol, high blood pressure and problems with his 'waterworks'." I burst out laughing at that one. She had actually found his profile on Ashley Madison while still married to him and published his username on this blog so everyone could hop over and have a laugh. He must have thought his profile was really pulling the women in after that!
Another guy had written about how his partner kept losing his job because "hey, they actually want me to show up occasionally, but it's really your fault when I don't! I mean you are supposed to get me up in time. What do you mean, that's what the alarm clock is for and I'm 28 FFS - can't you see that it's your job to get me up!" This made me really laugh because my ex always swore blind I turned his alarm off and that I was the reason he either was late to work or didn't show at all! No shit Sherlock, you're 45 - time to put the big boy's knickers on and get yourself to work. N.B. I eventually stopped even trying to wake him and just let him run his own three-ring circus. It didn't change his behaviour of course but it made it easier for him to blame me, so I guess kudos to me for that!
I had intended to go to bed early last night but I got into reading the over 100 comments on that particular post and laughing my head off and only ended up going to bed after midnight. Then of course, I was mentally writing a dating profile for my ex and couldn't stop my mind from whizzing by. Maybe someday I will do it and post it here. Watch this space!
Funny!
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