For no better reason than .....

I thought this was funny! There is a photo doing the rounds at the moment that just tickled me. I love the expression on the gondolier's face!

Better visit Venice before it's too late!

An eventful weekend!

Thursday and Friday of last week were public holidays for us in Geneva - the last until Christmas so it is in your best interests to enjoy this break! And wouldn't you know, Thursday being the official holiday, it decided to rain - after days and days of glorious sunshine. That's not to say it stopped what seemed to be the entire population of Geneva from getting out and about though - Thursday seems to be the day that all of Geneva says "hey, it's a holiday and the French are still working so how about we pop down to Annecy and enjoy the lake" - so that's how you end up meeting half your colleagues in Annecy on the Thursday of Jeûne Genevois! Not that I'm complaining though, as I decided I wasn't going to do anything that day, or more to the point, I had an appointment with the French tax accountant to see how my calculations matched up against his figures with a view to retiring at Christmas. Well I have to say my figures were spot on with one major exception!!! Pension - check, tax calculation - check, but oh the lump sum!!!! Now I had calculated a 7.5% tax on the lump sum - which is correct - but in addition there is an obscure, newish tax that I was afraid of - the CGS - which is applicable in addition to the 7.5% tax that I had calculated and bugger me if it doesn't bring my tax bill on the lump sum to almost 21%!!!! That was a shock I can tell you. I had wanted to take €132,000 to pay off my house, put in a new heating system and re-do the bathrooms and so on and have a little left over just in case. Well out of that €132,000 the French tax man wants to take just over €30,000 so I have to admit I went a bit weak and wobbly at the knees. The very nice tax accountant said it would be madness to pay that and suggested instead that I refinance the remainder of the outstanding mortgage back to its original expiry date of 10 years from now, take a full pension and continue to pay the mortgage. Ooooooorrrrr, why not do another 15 months at work, pay the mortgage off totally and live like a queen! I could have cried - I really have my heart set on going at Christmas so once I had picked myself up off the floor I started running through my options. In any case I have an appointment at the bank this Saturday and will see what she suggests but if it can't be sorted to my satisfaction I think I might just bite the bullet, pay the (daylight robbery) tax and live relatively well on what's left. We'll see by next week I guess but yikes, really yikes!!

Theeeeeennnnn on Saturday I had a call from Steve in the U.K. In a previous post I mentioned how we had planned to go out one day but ended up not being able to as he had an appointment come through for a scan at Liverpool hospital, so I ended up spending the afternoon at the hospital reading while waiting about four hours for him to get done with his scan. Anyway, the last time I spoke to him he hadn't had his results but by this Saturday he had already been on chemo for a week!!!! Yep, without going into too much personal detail he is being treated for cancer and will continue to do so probably up until Christmas!!! I had thought he wasn't his usual madcap self when I was there in August so I guess having that niggle on his mind was what was behind it! From what I have heard it is a very treatable cancer assuming they caught it in time - a bit like prostate cancer, I guess, although it's not that. But to say he was shell-shocked is an understatement. And to my mind this is another reason to go ahead and retire at Christmas rather than wait until "things get better". What with Ian dying in May and then my friend Penny dying in July (both unexpected) I'm thinking "oh for God's sake go, what are you waiting for". Now don't get me wrong, I have every belief, sincerely, that Steve will be fine, but it's not me facing the treatment it's him, so I just wish I could transfuse some of my positivity and ship it over to him. Not to say he isn't positive - he is - but it was a hard blow to assume out of the blue! Fingers and toes (and anything else you can think of) crossed!

I didn't do much for the rest of the weekend - which annoyed me in the end because after Thursday we had such glorious weather, so on Sunday I decided that I would trot up to my son's place as I had some paperwork for him and find out how his first week had gone at his new job! It looks to be great! He is working for a fairly large company (indeed they are looking to recruit even more plumbers) and he already has his works' van, his works' mobile phone, credit card and iPad which he just "taps" and it sets out his next job and what the potential diagnostic is. He is being shadowed for his second week by a senior guy and then next week there will be two rookies together to see how they get on. It is only 10 minutes from home and is already waaaaayyy less physically demanding than his previous job for about the same money! The biggest thing that seemed to excite him was his daily lunch allowance of up to €18 per lunch whereby he pays for his lunch, takes a photo of the bill and sends it by iPad to the main office who will reimburse him! Pretty cool eh! I genuinely didn't think he would be unemployed for long (one month in total but he managed to get some temporary work in there) and there really is no such thing as an unemployed plumber is there, but I have to say I think we were all relieved when he signed his new contract!

Anyway, as we were leaving I asked if he could suggest any local spots where D and I might get up the mountains for a bit of sun (not that it's not sunny "down here"). We have all the usual beauty spots where we routinely take visitors of course but given what a stunning area we live in I wanted to try somewhere else - and boy did we strike it lucky again. About 30 minutes from home is a place called Agy where there is great hiking in the summer and cross-country and Nordic skiing in the winter. There was loads of parking at the little restaurant so D and I decided to treat ourselves to lunch before hiking the short distance to the top for what is apparently a panoramic view of the Mont Blanc.  Exceeeeept, dingbat here had put her hiking shoes by the front door, loaded up the rest of her stuff and promptly set off to her son's in her flip-flops, completely forgetting about the hiking boots by the front door. So I ended up looking like the proverbial tourist trotting off up the mountains in my flip-flops! And true to form, about 10 minutes from the top, my flip-flops broke and I couldn't go any further!!!!! D went on ahead for a while but decided to turn back and watch me hobble back to the parking lot like the Hunchback of Notre Dame!!  Oh well, maybe this Sunday.

Flip-flops - what the best dressed hikers are wearing these days!

 

And finally, just before lunch today I bumped into V - a lovely German colleague. She had had her hair cut and coloured and I remarked how much it suited her. She said that she had had it cut at the hairdresser's but that she had coloured it herself. Trouble was, when she was shaking the bottle of colour with the setting solution to get it properly mixed she had been a bit too "enthusiastic", did a weird movement and had hurt her back - said back having been hurting all over the long weekend! Now frankly, (a) she is German so I guess you have to expect that kind of "enthusiasm" but (b) I told her if it had been me I would have said it happened while I was in training for my next extreme sports event! I mean, how do you hurt your back colouring your hair? Beats me!

MIA again!

I've been missing in action for a little while as I'm frantically busy at work and I think my computer is also on the blink as it has been pretty painful trying to log on here.

So what's been happening? Well the other Saturday night two friends and I went to see Simply Theatre's "The Best". This is the theatre group made up of youngsters studying the performing arts. They are aged 18 and under and do a wonderful job. I have no idea where they get their confidence from  because I could never do what they do even assuming I had half the talent - which I don't! While it wasn't my favourite (that accolade still goes to their performance of the Addams Family) it was still very good. It was a show which incorporated some of the best songs from hit shows but I think where it fell a little flat for me was that they weren't my favourites! Talk about picky! But I mean, if you talk about the Rocky Horror Show it's got to be the Time Warp Dance hasn't it. Still, as I say, they were excellent and the young girls that sang Evita's "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" and "Memory" from Cats really pulled it off. A couple of the young men had incredibly good voices too, although I did find the one "sexy" performance by two young lads a bit uncomfortable - I mean, you really can't do "sexy" when you haven't even hit puberty can you! Still that's not a criticism of their performances, they were great, it's just maybe the choice of song that I thought odd!

Then last Saturday we had our "monthly" board game evening, which was again at my place. Since I was the first person to host this we have obviously come full circle already! We ended up being only 10 as a few people were still away but gosh what a noise we made. Jen had bought along a new game where you picked two cards and had to mime the "afflictions" that were indicated on them - for instance every time Valerie spoke she had to do it like she was speaking to her lover, stroking his cheek with a squishy voice and all that. Trouble was she was doing that to Isabelle's husband, Philippe. Philippe had to be Valerie's "imaginary friend" who she had to get to say a certain word. Difficult to describe I suppose but it was hilarious, particularly the more wine we drank (I wonder why that was?)!!!! Our next evening will be held at Valerie's because she lives at over 1,000 metres altitude and we wanted to make it to her place before the snows hit. Our group does seem to be growing in popularity somewhat as Jen asked if she could bring a friend (obviously not a problem as it was at my place) but then on the Sunday I dropped in at my oldest son's place to give him his birthday presents and they asked if they could join! Little buggers, they had been included in the initial invite over a year ago and never responded. Still, if they want to come I'm hardly going to say no am I and it is a great way to see my kids! At that point we might be 18 which I think is pretty much the limit to entertain in someone's house but we'll see how it goes.

Talking of André and Lily they came back from Sicily (which is where I'm going in two weeks' time for my birthday) and in a couple of weeks are heading back out to the American "west". Not quite sure what their itinerary is but they are going to be covering a helluva lot of miles, but then they both love it. All I know is that Lily is organizing it all and that they will be landing in Denver, heading for their "main attraction" of Utah and leaving from San Francisco. She has all the places they want to visit mapped out (which in their case includes hiking up to eight hours a day) but they do indeed have some wonderful photos from their last visit in March. Do it while you can afford it and before the little 'uns come along is all I can say!

And talking of my birthday (we were weren't we), I have decided to line up a few doctors' appointments to get a complete check-up before I retire. When I called the cardiologist's I explained to the receptionist that I was already a patient but had changed my name. When she asked me to confirm my date of birth I said 24 September 1958 and she said "oh, so the big one's coming up isn't it"! I told her not to remind me but she assured me that it would have been fine (for her) if the following week she hadn't received advertising for funeral expenses and incontinence pads! Ain't that the truth! When I hit 50 all of a sudden the advertising coming my way was no longer for push-up bras and stockings but support socks and adult diapers!!! So I asked her if she had received any magazines giving out free 1950s knitting patterns yet but when she said not I told her I would bring her some on the day of my appointment! The "sad" thing is, I wouldn't mind taking up knitting when I retire! Still she was a very friendly receptionist and she kinda made my day!

And yet again talking of being an "old fogie", yesterday I bumped into a lovely colleague who I hadn't seen for quite some time. He was the lovely guy who took me out dancing after my husband left me. It was a Thursday night, I couldn't dance for toffee but we danced until four in the morning. When I told him I was on my knees but that I would seem him later at work he just said "oh, I took the day off"!!! So 30 years after the last time I pulled such a stunt I ended up pulling an all-nighter! I can't believe I ever used to do that on a regular basis. Anyway, I hadn't been able to catch a coffee with Jean (he is French/Lebanese) in ages as someone always ended up cancelling - so he asked if I wanted to have a "quickie" next week, "you know about 30 minutes". I burst out laughing and said "hey in my book that would be more of a marathon than a quickie but why not. Anything has got to be better than three pumps and a slump! His English is excellent but I'm not sure he actually knew what a "quickie" was! I guess I'll have to meet him for coffee next week and explain, just in case. Oh dear, what a let down. He only meant coffee!

Anyway, Thursday and Friday are public holidays here in Geneva so I will enjoy my last long weekend before the Christmas break. Yikes, fancy talking about Christmas already - how depressing!

Back in the saddle!

I got back from England on Saturday afternoon after just a week away to see family and Steve, my friend "up north". It was a pretty quiet week actually but I don't mind as, to be honest, I don't go to England for the scenery or the weather (which is just as well eh)!

Before I left home I made sure to empty the bins, turn the water heater off and so on and finally got round to throwing away a loaf of sliced bread that I had had for ages! I know that sounds an odd thing to say but I rarely eat sliced bread and must have bought this loaf, oh, about five months ago. I noticed that it didn't seem to be going off so decided that I was going to keep it until ... well until it just walked out the door of its own accord I suppose. You see, I don't know if you have heard stories about how "dead bodies are now so full of preservatives that they are no longer decaying"! Well I was intrigued by this idea, but given the amount of chemical preservatives in our food I wouldn't be at all surprised. So I decided to keep the bread and just keep checking it out from time to time. I swear, five months later that sucker was just beginning to get a few "mites" inside the packaging (I kept it well wrapped up of course)! But seriously, how on earth can you keep "fresh" bread for five months without it going off. It makes you think doesn't it!

Anyway, back to the plot. I flew into London on Saturday then caught the bus up to Dorset to spend a couple of days with my sister and her family. It was nice and relaxing, we did a bit of shopping (oh my God the prices!!!) and also got together with her daughter and grandchildren. Talking of prices, I hadn't had my eyes checked for three years and knew that I needed new glasses but didn't think I would have enough time to get that done in the two full days I was in Dorset - but not a bit of it! My neighbour told me that she had just paid €750 for one pair of glasses!!!!! and while I have insurance I really didn't feel like paying those kinds of ridiculous prices when I could get them so much cheaper in the U.K. The good news (for me at least) was that I was able to make an appointment for the Sunday after I got there - try that over here in France! Ha, what a joke - and then pick them up 24 hours later! The eye exam cost me just £25 (as compared to about £200 equivalent the last time I went to the optician in Switzerland) and two pairs of glasses took me about seven minutes to select (as I really don't care that much) and cost me just £89!!! Wow. On top of that I will get 90% back through my medical insurance anyway, so as my sister said, it was worth flying to England for that alone!!!!  Let's hope Brexit doesn't knock the stuffing out of those prices, but sadly I fear it probably will!

On the Tuesday I caught the train to Southampton and then flew up to Manchester to spend a few days with Steve, and you know what, we didn't do an awful lot but it was very nice. Just chilling, lazing around reading and then going out for dinner and so on. We had been invited to a friend of his for dinner the one night but Steve finally got a hospital appointment at Liverpool Hospital the same day so we had to cancel, fearing that we would be late getting back. So while he was in for his scan I spent a few hours in and around Liverpool, but mainly just sitting in the hospital waiting room reading another hilarious book by John O'Farrell - Things Can Only Get Better - or eighteen miserable years in the life of a labour supporter! It is great. It's a factual book about  his younger years in the Labour Party but since John is a comedy writer it is also very, very funny. I think I'm going to send it to my nephew as he is a "rampant" Labour Party supporter and actually works in the Labour Party archives in Manchester! A good read if you are a Brit!

Anyway, we did manage to get up off the sofa long enough to go to the Southport Flower Show, and very good it was too. Just my kind of thing, in fact, as I loved the flowers, the garden ornaments and so on, but especially the displays of hydroponics (or is that "aquaponics" - I think that may be French). Absolutely fascinating stuff (to me). The flowers were stunningly beautiful of course, and it was quite moving to see the rose developed in honour of Saffie Roussos, the youngest victim of the Manchester Ariana Grande concert!

Photo - Manchester Evening News

After a while we drifted over to a small "arena" to watch a display of sheepdog training. I have a soft spot for border collies as we had a "border collie mutt" when I was growing up, and boy are they intelligent. Anyway, with Cornish pastie in one hand and a beer in the other we made our way over to the "arena" to stand and watch in the rain - boy we know how to live it up don't we! We were just looking for somewhere to sit (there were plenty of spaces actually) when I felt a whack in my back and turned round to see an old biddy in a wheelchair waving her walking stick at me and mumbling black magic!!! Seriously, we hadn't even stood still for oh, what, five seconds and I got whacked in the back. The woman I took to be her daughter was mortified, Steve was furious but I just burst out laughing. I figure we'll all be old crones one day and in any case it must suck to be her!

Photo - Shutterstock

Since the weather wasn't great, we also decided to visit some show homes on the latest housing development just behind Steve's place. Actually they weren't bad at all. We made out I was retiring at Christmas (true) and moving back to England (not true) and so we got to look around a 2-bedroomed apartment and a 3-bedroomed house. They were small - particularly compared to the amount of space I have here in France - but they were nice! Big enough for one person certainly, and after the prices down in Dorset I just could not believe how cheap they were! I don't really know the north of England (well not much north of the Lake District anyway) but by golly you get more bang for your buck up north! I'm not sure Steve would like me moving quite so close (I assured him I wasn't even considering it) but even he enjoyed looking around as his daughter is trying (and as yet, failing) to sell her apartment in order to buy something with her partner, so it was interesting for him to see what was available.

Anyway, all good things must come to an end and I had a seamless journey back to a very warm and beautiful Switzerland/France. Got caught up on all the washing and grocery shopping and am "hot to trot" as they say and hoping to get caught up with my blog reading. But oh, I must finish with the joke that won the top spot at the Edinburgh Fringe:

"Working in a job centre must be so stressful. I mean, if you get fired for whatever reason you still have to go back the next day"!  Subtle right!

Mickey Flanagan Peeping (or Neighbours part deux)!

So thinking the other day about our relationships with our neighbours (we were weren't we?), I decided to post Mickey Flanagan's "peeping" solution to the eternally British problem of how many times a day do you have to say "good morning" to your neighbours?  I apologize in advance for any non-Brits who find him hard to understand - he does get a little easier as it goes on! But this is brilliant.

Anyway, the reason all this came up was because I was chatting to Steve on Wednesday night, discussing my trip to the UK next week where I will be flying "up North" to see him. He was saying how funny he found it that my neighbours just pop in and out of my house (some have keys) and how we seem to be so much more friendly over here (in France) than in Britain - less reserved - who knows. He said he has lived in his place for 18 years and while he says "good morning" à la Mickey Flanagan, he doesn't know most of his neighbours' names and has never been in any of their homes!!! I just find that stunning since we routinely get together for drinks/apéros on our little island and, as I have mentioned before, a group of 16 of us hold board game evenings in each other's homes roughly once a month - it's my turn next, on 1 September!

My theory has always been that in hot countries people sit outside more and chat, whereas in colder countries (and let's face it, England is usually cold and wet) people don't have that option. Well, that's my theory anyway, but for those of you who are of a somewhat more reserved nature, I give you Mickey F's solution!

Who's Mavis? (or Neighbours, part 1)

I stumbled across this youtube video the other day and thought it was hilarious. I have taken the liberty of typing in sub-titles, not because I mean to belittle this woman's accent (I happen to like it - Geordie (Newcastle) I think, but I may be losing my touch) but because I think for some non-Brits she may be hard to understand! I apologize in advance for the swear words - hers not mine - but I still think she's funny!

*****

Hallo, I bring to you, the weirdest thing. I've lived, like, in the same house for 14 years and my neighbours next door, Mavis and George, so I thought ... well recently George died. Bless him, he was 80-odd, and, like, I was talking to Mavis and that and I gave her a vodka and orange over the fence [seems that's how you offer condolences up North] and, like, I've got on with them for 14 years. And then I was talking to another lady over the road and I goes "how's Mavis doing?" She goes over to visit her in number 3.

She said "who's Mavis?"

I said "you what?" I said "Mavis, my neighbour".

She went "you haven't got a neighbour called Mavis".

I said "I have. Mavis. George's wife who just died".

She said, she goes, "oh do you mean Sylvia?"

I said "who's Sylvia?"

She said "George's wife".

Well you could have blew me over with a bloody thingy, something light. I said "is that her name?"

She said "yeah".

I said "eeeeyyy, I've called her Mavis for 14 years".

Shirley, the other f....r, she goes "well when you've called her Mavis doesn't she say anything? Has she not said nowt?"

I said "no". And the more I thought about it ... because I'm, like, "all right Mavis". "All right Steph yeah". Every year I've sent Christmas cards and ... yeah well most years ... I was busy in 2014, [f.... off Lucy - must be talking to the dog] I've sent Christmas cards "Merry Christmas Mavis and George" and I've had them back off her saying "lots of love to Steph and Ian from Mavis and George". And her f.....ing name's Sylvia. I never knew. So what do I do now? Do I just keep calling her Mavis? What do I do? I daren't go out the house in case I bump into her. The weirdest thing ever!!  Love you, bye.

Another amazing find!

I think I mentioned a couple of months ago that I wanted to start getting out and about rediscovering my local area because there really is so much around here as yet undiscovered (by me). I did a previous post on our trip to Chanaz and how lovely that was. Well last weekend I thought vaguely about going down to les Jardins Secrets (the Secret Gardens) about 40 minutes from here, but to be honest it was just waaay too hot and I kind of flaked out! Anyway, a friend asked me if I fancied a trip out there this Sunday, so seeing as it wasn't that far (about 40 minutes away) and it wouldn't be an "all day event" in the current scorching temperatures, we set off at 11 a.m. for a small village called Vaulx, just the other side of Annecy. And my oh my what a(nother) treasure we found!

 

I really wasn't expecting much but I have to say it beat all expectations. Not just ours of course, but everyone we passed seemed to be stunned. It all started out in the early '80s when N (a French lady who was born in Morocco) and A (a French gent who was born in Tunisia) got married and bought what I understand was a derelict farm in this area (the Haute Savoie region of France). Veeeerrrrryyyy slowly they renovated the farm into a home for themselves and their three daughters and, given their innate love of North Africa, slowly renovated various barns and out-buildings into meadows/gardens, or "riyads", by their Arabic name. Painstakingly over the years A built the different structures while his wife, N, added the ornate Arab-style decorations. It was all done by hand and as their daughters grew older they also pitched in (as do the eight grandchildren who were all working there yesterday). It was a scorching hot day but there were bench seats, tables, water fountains, and the most beautiful flowers and decorations imaginable. (As an aside, we discovered that there were eight water features, each with the name of one of the grandchildren engraved on it). People were invited to sit and shelter wherever they wanted, open up doors into all the nooks and crannies behind which were inevitably family photos and other treasures. It was a real gem - sadly I don't think the photos do it justice, but here are just a few that I took!

 

There were little rooms off all the pathways where you were free to roam and open doors and cupboards to your heart's content!

I think my favourite spots though were the "lounging" rooms, all decorated in Arab style where you were invited to just sit down out of the sun and take it all in. I walked into one room, though, and my jaw just dropped! They had the typical beds and cushions for people to lie on but had also put a swimming pool right in the middle of it, with ornate water features constantly drizzling water back into the pool. Of course running water is a very relaxing sound and frankly I think I could have just lay down and spent the rest of the afternoon there!

This pretty table had just been a simple, white garden table before they repainted it in all these glorious colours. Actually, I wish I had been quick enough to catch my friend, Karyn's face, as she walked into the pool room! That jaw drop would have been great to catch on camera - we all did it though - it was just stunning!

They have also (apparently only recently) started doing light lunches, which are proving a roaring success too. I had salad with local dried meats and cheeses plus a wonderful cocktail of apple juice, blackcurrant juice and lemonade. Karyn had the same but with a very simple dessert thrown in and lovely Moroccan mint tea! The grandkids seemed to be in charge of the cooking and washing up, and they were all extremely friendly and helpful. We were also lucky enough to see the grandparents (the original founders) helping out as the crowds were coming at them thick and fast! The thing is though, you never felt "crowded" as there were so many little nooks and crannies where you could take shelter from the sun in peace and relative quiet! It was truly brilliant!

You know, I admire people like this for their creativity but also for their guts in "going for it". I think if I tried to do something like this it would end up as one big colourful, splotchy mess, but here it just works! Ok they have been developing it for over 30 years but it truly is a fabulous site!  I don't have this kind of space or creativity but some of the flowers there have given me pause for thought. First on the list has got to be "hibiscus des marais"! I'm not sure what they are called in English. "Hibiscus" to be sure, but "des marais" (from the swampland? swamp rose mallow?). Who knows, but these hibiscus grow to about 1.5 metres tall with the flowers measuring approximately 12 inches across (how about that for a mix of metric and imperial!)

That's not me, by the way, but at least it shows the size of these flowers!

And finally, I think I know why I was a bit nostalgic/melancholy in my last post! I have been cleaning off a couple of bookshelves and wiping down old photo albums that were a bit dusty. So of course the first thing you do with an old photo album is look through it isn't it. Anyway, it got to me a bit in the end - I was feeling a bit sad - all that "wasted/lost" time I guess. Now it's not like me to be down but it really seemed to hit me the other day. Well that is until we had our fabulous day out at the Secret Gardens and then Steve called me later that evening and had me roaring laughing again, so all's well that ends well!