Hallo, I bring to you, the weirdest thing. I've lived, like, in the same house for 14 years and my neighbours next door, Mavis and George, so I thought ... well recently George died. Bless him, he was 80-odd, and, like, I was talking to Mavis and that and I gave her a vodka and orange over the fence [seems that's how you offer condolences up North] and, like, I've got on with them for 14 years. And then I was talking to another lady over the road and I goes "how's Mavis doing?" She goes over to visit her in number 3.
She said "who's Mavis?"
I said "you what?" I said "Mavis, my neighbour".
She went "you haven't got a neighbour called Mavis".
I said "I have. Mavis. George's wife who just died".
She said, she goes, "oh do you mean Sylvia?"
I said "who's Sylvia?"
She said "George's wife".
Well you could have blew me over with a bloody thingy, something light. I said "is that her name?"
She said "yeah".
I said "eeeeyyy, I've called her Mavis for 14 years".
Shirley, the other f....r, she goes "well when you've called her Mavis doesn't she say anything? Has she not said nowt?"
I said "no". And the more I thought about it ... because I'm, like, "all right Mavis". "All right Steph yeah". Every year I've sent Christmas cards and ... yeah well most years ... I was busy in 2014, [f.... off Lucy - must be talking to the dog] I've sent Christmas cards "Merry Christmas Mavis and George" and I've had them back off her saying "lots of love to Steph and Ian from Mavis and George". And her f.....ing name's Sylvia. I never knew. So what do I do now? Do I just keep calling her Mavis? What do I do? I daren't go out the house in case I bump into her. The weirdest thing ever!! Love you, bye.