The view from my window

The view from my window
The view from my window

Wednesday, 30 September 2015

Internet dating - la suite

The scammers!  Ahh the scammers. As I wrote yesterday, I have to admit that my brief foray into internet dating was pretty positive.  That of course, was after the contact I had with the scammers. Nevertheless, while they were indeed scammers, their tricks were so pathetic they actually succeeded in giving me a good belly laugh!

Before I joined up on the Swiss site, I had been persuaded to try out an international site (you see it advertised on the TV all the time).  They were going to give me a free trial period.  So I put in my details, and a very brief profile.  I wasn't really that interested anyway so my profile on this site was probably about two lines long. Of course the site asks for your date of birth so without actually giving away your birthday it is possible for other members to know your age.

Well I would say within 10 minutes of uploading my free profile I was contacted by "General Mike Whadyamacallit", US military.  And wouldn't you know, he was the same age as me and a pretty good looking guy in his military fatigues. Yep he even posted a photo. Turns out he was a widower with a 17-year old son and would be retiring from the military in 18 months time. Perfect if you think about it. Same age as me - check. Widower - so no ex-wife to worry about- check. 17-year-old son - soon be off his hands - check. And soon to be retiring - perfect for him to be able to travel freely and meet up with the woman who was shortly to become the love of his life (that's me by the way, in case you hadn't guessed) - double check.

Anyway, we messaged back and forth for a little while and he asked me a bit about my background. I gave him the short, cleaned-up version (i.e. no bad language about my ex) and then I asked what his story was.  Well I tell you, quicker than you could say KAZINGAA, he shot back 3 pages giving his complete life story.  In fact I'm surprised my computer didn't crash with the size of the file. Born, blahhhhdy-blah, raised blahhhhdy-blah, studied - blahhhdy-blah.  Graduated from West Point in 1966.  Saw active service in blahhhdy-blah and so on. You get the gist.  You name it, this guy had done it all.  BUUUUUT one thing jumped out at me.  I was 51 at this time and he claimed to be the same age, but something about his profile didn't fit.

Anyway, "Mike" and I chatted politely back and forth for a little while more when he said that much as he would love to, he wouldn't be able to speak on the phone for some time as he was currently serving in Afghanistan so they were restricted, for obvious security reasons.  Same for skype. Security issues.  So at that point he was going to have to love me and leave me as he had to get back out into the field to "speak to his boys"!  But, he couldn't wait until the next evening when he would get to chat to me again.

So before I logged off I just said "Hey Mike, wait a minute.  It has been so exciting to meet you but I just wanted to ask you one thing."  "Sure anything, go ahead honey."  "You said you were the same age as me right - 51?" "Yep" came back the reply. "So born in 1958 then?" "Yep".  "Hey, please, please don't hang up just yet I need to ask you something.  I am so looking forward to our chat tomorrow, but it's just that - well you know - I mean, it is just that I am so excited to be chatting to someone who graduated from West Point at the age of 8!!!!!!

And before I could say "now holdyacottonpickinsocksthere Jehosafat", the jerk's profile page went KERPING!!!! and disappeared in about 10 seconds flat. And you know, the next night I had pretty much the same contact from "Lieutenant Todd Thingemebob" - US military.  I told him not to waste his time as I didn't get out of bed for anything less than a 5-star general (or should that be into bed? -  not sure).

Needless to say I reported these two email addresses back to the abuse lines at their relevant email sites.  Of course they will be up and running with a new ID and other fake photos lifted off the internet in about 20 minutes so I hope others are careful.  But hey, I wonder what the weather is really like in Nigeria at the moment!

Courtesy of

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