Sevilla!

The next day proved to be the longest (and hottest) day of our trip, with temperatures hitting 38°C (100°F) at one point - it was obviously miserable! Our guide for this day was Jesus (still can't find the Spanish accents), who walked us through the local landscape/agriculture before we arrived in Seville. Much of this region is given over to olive and bitter orange production, and oddly enough the bitter oranges are not used for making marmalade but rather in the perfume industry! While all the byproducts from the olive and orange industry can be used as compost, I had to ask him how he thought all the "dead" solar panels/wind turbines would affect the environment once they were no longer of any use. He explained that the aim was to recycle all these "green energy machines" once they no longer served their purpose, but I do remember seeing somewhere that most of this stuff would just pour more, non-green toxins into the landscape once it was no longer used in agricultural production!

After a couple of hours we stopped at a service station for a potty stop and when I went in to buy a coffee I realized that I'd come out of a totally different door after I'd paid. Not a big deal, but then I realized that Monique was following not too long after me and I just knew she would get lost! In fact, I said as much when I got back to the bus. Monique had gone into the service station to buy candies for the bus and sure enough, we ended up waiting for her as she figured her way round a square building to get back to the bus. I'm not saying this to laugh at her, but I think it is indicative of how she's just not totally with it anymore! More on that later!

She had intended to buy candies for the entire bus and when we set off destination Seville she got up and started passing them around, at which point our guide told her to sit down as it was dangerous. Two minutes later she's up again and again he told her to sit down. At this point she gets pissy because (a) she can't get her seatbelt to work (she'd got it turned round the wrong way) and (b) no-one was going to tell her what to do - so the driver pulled over to the side of the road and said we weren't going any further until Monique sat down! I tried to make light of it by saying "hey, when Jesus tells you to sit down, you sit down" but she just got even more pissy! One of our committee members commented that she thought that since Monique had been club president 15 years ago she just assumed she could do everything that she did back then - but then realized she couldn't. The same is true of all of us of course. I mean, who can do everything you did 15 years ago - certainly not me - but then Monique just lashes out because "no-one was going to tell her what to do"! It's sad really because I know she's a good woman who means well, but she is also a desperately unhappy woman who lashes out at people when she feels inadequate!

Eventually we made it to Plaza de Espana which was absolutely stunning, but unfortunately lack of time and searing heat meant that we probably didn't get to enjoy it was much as we might have!

After Plaza de Espana we headed out for what turned out to be the worst lunch of our stay, but in the end, I wasn't doing the cooking, nor was I doing the washing up. Lunch was followed by a visit to the 15th century cathedral, followed by a walking visit to the Jewish quarter! There really is so much to see in Seville for a history buff so while they tried to fit in as much as they could, it would never be enough and we could spend hours, if not weeks doing the rounds!

Plaza de Espana

In order to visit the cathedral woman were required to cover their shoulders and everyone had to cover their knees - which was a huge joke because once inside the cathedral half the visitors were in shorts and most of the Japanese "influencers" were wearing off-the-shoulder dresses. We were also required to carry ID and two of our group were randomly singled out to produce their ID, while the rest of us got off scott free!

The tomb of Christopher Colombus!

Seville Cathedral

The tomb of Columbus's second son!

After we'd finished our visit we had about 30 minutes to go buy drinks and use the bathrooms. I was sitting outside a cafe with Motormouth on one side and a lady I knew only superficially on the other. All of a sudden Motormouth leans around me to the other lady and asked if she'd been able to deal with her colostomy bag okay???? This woman is frickin' nuts. Who the hell starts talking about someone's colostomy bag outside while sitting at a cafe and working her wrinkled neck past me in order to ask her question???? I tell ya, when I complain about this trip it has nothing to do with those (few) people who struggled physically. In reality it had everything to do with the likes of Motormouth and - sadly - Monique - who followed me around like a lost puppy, desperate for me not to abandon her. One of our ladies commented that this is what she does every Tuesday at club - she chases Martine around because she is so out of her depth. It's sad really, because I know she's worth more than that, but maybe, just maybe, there comes a moment when it's just time to hang up your apron and let someone else take over (although the someone who "takes over" will never be me - no way I'm taking on that sh@t)!

Mijas!

We got to spend our first morning wandering around the hotel and the small beachside resort of Benalmadena - basically checking out the beach and the dozens of restaurants and shops within a short walking distance. After lunch we were joined by our very pregnant guide for the short trip to Mijas, which is a small village situated at 460 metres above sea level. I learned quite some years ago that the homes in these villages are not actually painted with white paint, but are treated with limewash as it is both a natural disinfectant and insect repellant. The down side of using limewash, though, is that it has to be renewed fairly frequently but either way, it paints a very pretty picture!

The famous donkey taxis!

It was a very pretty little village and our guide told us that if we intended to do any shopping, this was the place to do it (turns out she was right, of course). The little backstreet stores were bursting with decorative items and beautiful leather bags at very reasonable prices. Since I wanted to buy myself a new bag, I clocked the place I intended to go back to once our guided tour was over. The guide told us that there were very few steps but if we wanted to go see the 17th century chapel of the Virgen de la Pena (can't find the Spanish accents for this right now - sorry), then it would involve a little walking and that anyone who didn't feel up to it might prefer to sit on the main square with a drink before wandering around the stores for a little shopping!

The chapel of the Virgen de la Pena!

After our guided visit we had about an hour's free time so I sat with a couple of ladies to have a drink before heading off on my shopping spree - and that was when Marie-Claire came running over to say that Anne-Marie had lost her sun glasses and would I mind going back to the stores with her to try to find them! Sod it! Here we go again! So I went with her to a couple of stores and sure enough one of them had her sunglasses. As I was starting back up the hill to check out the bags I heard someone yelling that Anne-Marie had now lost her reading glasses but I dipped into the nearest store and stayed there until it was quite obvious I wasn't coming back. Lady, put a chain on your bloody glasses or superglue them to your forehead - I don't care but do whatever it takes to not keep losing stuff. In the end she couldn't find them and was mighty annoyed because she'd only just gotten them. All this pissing around meant that I didn't get to go back to the store I'd picked out to look for a bag, so I was in no mood to hear it when someone pointed out that Anne-Marie was really struggling to make it back to the bus. When I heard her say "I know I'm a bit tubby" I almost fell over 'cos that "tub" probably weighed somewhere between 70 and 80 lbs, so I asked our guide if we could take a minute for her to rest, but when her friend said she was still struggling I asked her what she expected anyone to do - have me push from behind while our pregnant guide pulled from the front? The honest truth is she's about 70 years old and a good 70 lbs overweight but she made the decision to take that tour, despite our guide's warning and ultimately it had to be her problem to solve!

Then I had Monique chasing after me all morning like a lost puppy. She suggested it might be a nice gesture to send a postcard back to the new lady Mayor who allows the club to use their clubhouse free of charge. I told her I thought that was a good idea but that she should just sign it herself rather than have all of us on the trip sign it because then she'd end up running round trying to make sure she'd gotten all the signatures. She wasn't best pleased with my answer so I told her to go ahead and do what she wanted, but it seemed to me that she wanted me to go with her while she bought the postcard - eh, no thank you, I've had enough of hand-holding already on this trip and it was only our first day!

I'd gotten sick just before we travelled so was still nursing a bit of a cough and when I coughed she started up with the "can I get you a Tylenol, do you want me to go to the pharmacy for you, can I get you a hot tea, shall I carry your bag for you"? I told her no thank you as I was perfectly fine but by this time I really wanted to shout "for god's sake just back off will you" (I didn't, but how I held it in all week I don't know)! With the drama of the previous day, in the evening, when people were having an apéro, Monique had gone from table to table rehashing the story over and over again. At first people were sympathetic but eventually they just wanted to sit by the pool and chat about their new grandbaby, their knee replacement or just enjoy the view, but no, Monique constantly interrupted everyone regurgitating the same old, same old, until someone asked me what we could do to make her shut up. In the end I suggested it might be a good idea to take the microphone on the bus and set out the facts exactly as they had happened so that everyone would have the correct story and we could be done with it once and for all. Ha, if only - she did indeed tell the story over the microphone but oh foolish me if I thought that was the end of it. She obviously rambles through things constantly in her mind and by the time she gets to sit down she's already rehashed a whole new story to regale everyone with!

The saving grace of the day was that it was my birthday and Jen sent me a voicemail of Charlie singing happy birthday to me in English. Then Elynn had a go and since she and I often play wolves, her song sounded like "aawwwooooo to you, aawwwooo to you" - but it was so lovely I wanted to cry!

It made up for what already seemed to be becoming a pattern of being pulled all over the place by people who, if they can't assume responsibility for themselves at this point, well then I'm sorry, but maybe they should stick closer to home in the future! Ha, and to think I even toyed with the idea of becoming a tour guide after I retired. Shoot me now if I ever mention that again!

A former monastery in Mijas!

I'm back!

Well I got back a bit later than expected last night due to roadworks having us divert through Annecy. We were expecting to get in around midnight but in the end we only made it back around 2 am. I wasn't driving, of course, but like most of us I was really glad to get home and back to my own bed! The trip was "different" - let's put it diplomatically - because while Andalucia is beautiful, travelling with a group such as the old fogies had more than its fair share of challenges. The majority were really nice and good fun, but as always it's just a few that make life harder on everyone! Sad to say that while Monique (the president) had done a sterling job organizing the trip with a Lyon-based travel agent, she really was in way over her head as far as the practicalities were concerned so an awful lot of it got dumped on me!

Anyway, I managed to pack pretty light (8kg instead of the 20 kg I was allowed) because I've long known that what you end up packing you end up carrying yourself at some point. Our trip to Lyon airport took just over two hours, but from a logistics point of view it wasn't great because our bus had to drop us off at the train station as the larger vehicles can't get near the airport terminals. That was where Monique started "moithering" already as she couldn't figure out where we had to go, despite the fact that she's been quite the avid traveller over the years. So I pulled out our paperwork, herded us all over to Terminal 1 and the Volotea desk, where our travel agent was waiting with our boarding passes. One of the ladies at club has a daughter who lives about six hours away and comes up every couple of months to see her mom. Mom is pretty deaf and the daughter (I started calling her Motormouth) managed to park her mom at the front of the bus (so she could hear better) and then seat herself at the back of the bus so she could run up and down yelling "Maman, are you following what she's saying"? To me it begs the question why she didn't sit next to her mom and help her, since mom also walks with a stick, but I guess it was an easier way to draw attention to herself if she ran up and down the bus screeching!

Anyway, as we were waiting to check in I saw that there was a commotion at the front of the queue and apparently one our ladies was out for the count after fainting. Motormouth then runs to the front of the queue to check on Maman (why wasn't she with maman to begin with?) and that's when it transpired that it was another lady who suffers from diabetes who had fainted. Over here we refer to first responders as firemen and the gate staff and firemen were immediately on the case taking care of this lady, but Motormouth kept insisting she knew better how to take care of her because she "worked in an old people's home" (I think she's a cleaner - teehee). It seems Motormouth is an expert on everything and eventually the firemen had to tell her to piss off because they knew where to find her if they needed her expertise later! On a side note, much as I loved her, my late sister-in-law was a bit like this - an expert on everything and everywhere she'd ever worked. She was once regaling us with all the ins and outs of local policing policy when eventually my nephew piped up and said "mom, you only type parking tickets"! She didn't like that very much but at least it shut her up for a bit, although no such luck with Motormouth! Ultimately our diabetic lady was fine (if embarrassed) and able to continue on with the trip!

Next came Leone who has a financial guardian that I've had to deal with on several occasions regarding payments for various trips/outings that she has wanted to do. She has money, it's just that she has someone else take care of her financial needs (and I have to admit they do a good job of it). All that to say that I know she has a guardian, but then why Monique would be discussing this with others on the trip is totally beyond me, and very unprofessional. Anyway, Leone also walks with a stick and needed assistance at the gate. When they boarded us, some of our group were at the front and the rest of us were scattered throughout the plane so there was no real way we could be sure our entire party had boarded. When the scheduled take-off time came and went we ended up sitting on the tarmac for about an hour before the pilot announced that they had had a no show and were in the process of removing a lady's luggage, and that was when they called Monique to the front of the plane to ask about Leone. Trouble is (and in my opinion this was pretty piss poor for a flight leaving from France) none of the cabin crew spoke French - it was either Spanish or English - so that's how I got dragged into the whole bar fight. Turns out airport assistance had taken Leone's hand luggage and put it on the plane for her, but when it came time to get through the gate they wanted to see her ID - which of course she couldn't give them because it was already on the plane! So they won't let Leone board because boarding is now closed, and they won't let Monique get off to go to her either, so we ended up taking off with Leone sitting in her wheelchair crying and Monique sitting next to me on the plane crying! Honestly this was a major screw up on the part of ground staff and because Leone is under very strict financial control, she basically had no money on her. Moreover, as we had just taken off we couldn't use our phones to call the travel agent until we landed (two hours later) - what a bloody mess. Ultimately the travel agents stepped in, got her a room for the night and reorganized her flight plus taxi plus special assistance for the next day. The thing is, if it had been me that got left behind, while I would have been pissed, I could at least get myself a hotel and sort things out from there but for it happen to Leone - well that was just about the worst person it could happen to! On a side note, I would have put Leone in her 80s but it turns out she's my age, so that came as something of a shocker too!

Then we had Sylvie, who had never flown before, and as we were taking off she thought it would be great to get a picture out of the window and jumped out of her seat to do so. The flight attendant (who had a face like she sucked lemons for breakfast every morning) yelled at her to sit down and we managed to drag her back to her seat. I know, I know, who the hell jumps out of their seat during take-off, but then the first time I ever flew I was too hot and tried to open the window, so maybe I shouldn't laugh. Anyway, once we levelled off, lemon-sucker came up to us and asked me to translate for her while she gave Sylvie a bollocking. Of course she was absolutely right but I can't say it did anything to strengthen the entente cordiale onboard either!

Anyway, we finally made it to our hotel and while the staff and the hotel itself were lovely, my room (for which I'd paid a single supplement) appeared to be the worst on the block, with the shower being barely big enough to get into (think smaller than an airplane toilet) and a brick for a pillow. I was tired and dirty and in no mood to argue right then so I didn't get much sleep first night either. The hotel rep turned out to be very professional and helpful, and the fact that he was also quite cute didn't go unnoticed by Motormouth, who promptly ran over to him to do a bise (the kiss on both cheeks) which is something you only do to people you know and not to people you've only just met - and certainly not to the hotel rep! Honestly, the woman is vulgar as well as loud-mouthed, and now here she was behaving like a bitch in heat - it was so embarrassing!

Luckily for me, our various excursions were lovely, which was just as well because my days of having to act like a tour guide and getting pulled from left to right by (a few) members of our group only got worse as time went on. Thankfully the majority of our group were totally independent and a great support but since I was the only one who spoke English and/or Spanish, a lot of the crap got dumped on me! So more tomorrow then!

Later in the afternoon - beautiful Mijas!

Mijas - a google image!

It’s been a while (again)!

And right now I’m in southern Spain. It’s beautiful and scorching hot! Yesterday we were in Seville - can’t really post from my phone but attached is a Google image of the stunning cathedral! Things are “interesting” with the old fogies club! To be honest it’s like herding cats!!! Will write more when I get home - it’ll probably take me a year. Speak soon and take care everyone!

A Google image!

This and that!

It's been a while since I last posted but there really hasn't been that much going on. It's been incredibly hot of course and I was starting to get depressed at having so much to do and no energy to do it when I happened to mention this at our old fogies' club meeting and three other women nodded and said the same thing. That made me feel so much better because I thought it was just me that was weird about this stuff!

Jordan and Jen spent two weeks in Brittany and loved it, as always. After staying with a friend for a few days they drove up to see the Mont Saint Michel and then east across France to see Jen's grandparents for a few days. Jen has mentioned a few times how pretty it is up there and how much cheaper it is, but then as my former plumber mentioned (he's from Brittany) it's cheap because there's no work outside of tourism. I suppose as Jordan is a plumber and Jen is a nurse they could both find work pretty easily all the same but Jen really doesn't want to go back to nursing and she finally admitted that many of these "cheap" houses are cheap because they're actually on flood plains. I know that's one of the things they would love - to buy their own house - and their apartment really is still only okay for them because the kids are so small, but things being what they are at the moment upgrading to a house is not looking likely with the state of the French economy!

I've driven through Brittany before but according to the kids there's so much more to it than just lovely beaches. The bus company I often do trips with routinely alternates trips to Brittany and Normandy every year so next time they do Brittany I think I'll book it if the timing suits!

A google image of Mont Saint Michel
when the tide's in!

When the tide's in
you can't get over there!

Just one of many pretty villages
they visited!

André and his girlfriend spent 10 days near St. Tropez and also loved it, but André being André, he never sent us any pictures! I spent two weeks camping in St. Tropez for my 18th birthday and when I asked him if it was just as trendy he said not - but still very pretty!

Then the other weekend 12 of us went out to eat (coincidentally to the restaurant I'd just been to with the old fogies club) to celebrate Elynn's second birthday. The food and the company were very good and the weather was perfect enough to allow the kids to swim when they got bored of sitting at the table! I can't believe she's two already! She's starting to babble and great fun, even if she has quite the character on her!

Greg with Charlie and Milan

The birthday girl!

A new law was introduced in France sometime in July banning telemarketing. I was pretty skeptical at first as I was still receiving around five calls a day despite being signed up to something called Bloctel, which was supposed to block them. Maybe it did block most of them and these were just the five that were getting through, but either way, since this law was introduced I haven't received a single telemarketing call. While I feel sorry for people who might have lost their jobs because of this, I know I'm not the only person to be delighted with this new development (so fingers crossed then)!

The other day Jordan told me that another LPG pump had been installed at one of our local supermarkets so I decided to check it out as it was nearer than the two I'd previously been told about when I bought my car. When I got there there was indeed an LPG pump set up but as I went to pull in I heard a man I took to be Pakistani (by his accent) speaking into his phone in English and telling whoever that his card wasn't being accepted. The machine buggering up your card can happen quite frequently over here so when I pulled up he asked if I could help him. He told me he was a truck driver living in Lithuania and needed around €5 to fill up a small gas bottle (which I figured he used for cooking while on the road, like so many other truckers). I told him I'd fill it up for €10 for him but he told me he only needed around €5 and in the end it only took just over €4 anyway. He thanked me profusely and asked me to wait there while he went to get cash from his truck, but I told him not to worry and have a safe trip. You'd think I'd given him the world he was so grateful and I was so glad I'd helped him. I think the ladies out there would understand that being approached by a lone man when you're on your own yourself can sometimes be quite intimidating but, on this occasion at least, he was well worth my trust!

And finally, the other day I was looking for something new to watch on either Netflix or Amazon when I saw a short trailer for Ride or Die! Looking at the initial concept I was pretty sure it wouldn't appeal to me (you know, one woman takes out the entire Albanian underworld with just a knife and a tight dress) but it was actually pretty good, not least because the chemistry between Judith (Hannah Waddingham) and Debbie (Octavia Spencer) was great. Okay Bill Nighy performed (in my opinion) his one and only role as the staid old man who masterminded everything and I do get tired of one-role actors, but having finally finished the first series I would give it an 8/10 - and apparently series two is on the cards for autumn 2026! So now I've got to find something else to watch, although as I'm back to reading big time right now I suppose it won't matter too much if I don't find anything that appeals to me right away!

The old fogies club started up again last Tuesday and yoga and sewing start up again on Monday so I'm guessing life will get a little more regimented from now on and I'll have less to whinge about as the temperatures - while still glorious - are down about 10°C from their peak just a few weeks ago! So onwards and upwards then!

Shall I?

Well last night's eclipse was a bit of a wet squib - for me at least. I can't say I even noticed it at all, except that it got just a tad darker at one point for a few seconds, but I've heard other people have gotten some pretty great shots. I did go out on the balcony to watch the sky after dark to see if I could see any shooting stars but again, I got nothing!

The best shooting stars I've ever seen though were on my trip around Australia in 1983. My friend and I were working our way up the Gold Coast with our two-(wo)man tent or staying in youth hostels. I'm pretty sure it was Maroochydore hostel we were supposed to be staying at for three nights (the maximum stay allowed) but when we saw the state of the hostel my friend made a sign going "one night only" and I couldn't have agreed more as it was a real dump. Oh I'm sure it's much nicer now (the photos certainly seem to show that) but in 1983 it really was a dump. However, the warden was an absolute gem and offered to drive about 15 of us to a nightclub in the back of his van. This alone was probably totally against the law to have so many young people crammed (without seats) in the back of his van, but we did it anyway. I remember the exact date (24 September 1983) because it was my 25th birthday and the DJ had everyone in the club sing happy birthday to me - happy days indeed! Anyway, when we got back to the hostel (safe and sound) around 2 am, some of us didn't want to go to bed so we sat on the porch all night and just marvelled at the sheer number of shooting stars. It was absolutely magic! I know the theory is that they were easier to see because of the lower levels of pollution but for whatever reason, that night stuck in my memory because of what a wonderful sight it was! In fact, there was a time when my ex was still living here that we sat outside with the kids late into the night and spotted shooting star after shooting star - it was really something else! I can't say I've had a repeat of that experience since, or maybe it's just because I don't sit out on the terrace after dark much anymore!

Anyhoo, the real point of this post is because the other day, while playing Words With Friends with my usual bots, "Lincoln P" invited me to play a game. I've posted previously how "gorgeous Louis" and "lonely Kelvin" asked me to play at the same time and I took screenshots of their drivel as I went along. My first thought was "here we go, another scammer about to make a move" and sure enough today "Lincoln" sent me a message to say that I "played a good game" (better than you mate, better than you)! You can see from the screenshot that "Lincoln" appears as "Hank" at the bottom of the picture, so I'm very tempted to accept his invitation to chat, just to see what his spiel is. What do you think? Is he a soon-to-be retiring widowed Marine Corps Colonel, a diamond miner in Africa or a military surgeon bravely saving lives under extreme pressure in Afghanistan? Answers on a postcard please!

"Lincoln" at the top
and "Hank" at the bottom!

Old lady brain?

After sorting out my "car problems" the other day I've slowly been looking up what all the "gadgets" and buttons are - so far so good. I don't know if I mentioned previously that when I tried to wash the bird poop/fly guts off my windscreen I couldn't get that to work so after figuring out where the washer reservoir was (it's well hidden and nowhere near where you might think it would be) I decided to check it, only to find that it had been delivered to me empty - no wonder the bloody thing wouldn't work! So while problems are often caused by my old lady brain, they aren't always!

When I chose this model I told them that I didn't want electric, and that was when the salesman told me that my model only came with a hybrid petrol/LPG (liquefied petroleum gas) engine. I thought LPG was only for trucks but he laughed and said that no, it was for cars too. When I asked what the difference was, turns out it's the price, as (I'm discovering) LPG sells for around 50% of what regular unleaded sells for!!! Trouble is, there aren't many garages round here that sell it but there are two that do near the lake at Passy and since I'm down there quite often, it shouldn't be a problem for me to fill up. So I finally found a suitable garage and gingerly went to fill up on LPG. (Side note: the French call LPG, GPL and I'm pretty sure I went into one station and asked if they sold GLP - she must have scratched her head when she heard me asking if they sold Ozempic)! Anyway, I locked on the nozzle, pressed the button and then stepped back because I understand the nozzle hisses when it's finished. When I went to pay the lady asked me if that was all, so thinking she meant did I want a drink or candy I told her yes, that was all. And that's when she laughed and asked if this was the first time I'd filled up on LPG. Apparently she could tell I was an "LPG virgin" because I'd only put in about half a gallon, and the man before me had done the same. Seems you have to keep your hand on the start button and the hiss will tell you when the tank is full! Old lady brain (OLB)?

After that I stopped in at a shop called Centrakor, which is the kind of place you can find cheap(er) office supplies, gardening stuff, kids's toys etc. Their shopping carts are really weird though because they are quite tall and almost square, so when I stopped and asked a young assistant if they sold crafting supplies she told me to follow her. I said not to wait on me because the wheels on this cart were so close together that I kept bumping my feet on the wheels, and that was when she told me I was pushing it around backwards! I just laughed but I am seriously beginning to wonder about OLB now!

Then my new neighbour came round to see me about the flooding in their basement and had brought with him a quote for getting new underground piping laid in our gardens to carry the water from the natural springs away from our houses. Now I have no problem with flooding (touch wood) but both my immediate neighbours do, so I said I'd be willing to go in with him to get it done properly this time. Turns out that when my old neighbour's husband (the one that died not so long ago) ordered the piping for his and my garden he ordered the smallest diameter (ie the cheapest) and that is where the blockages are occurring. I was at work when they laid the piping and had always believed I'd gotten the bigger diameter but apparently not. Turns out he cut quite a few corners in that house, as my new neighbours are repeatedly finding out!

Anyway, in spring I always go gung ho and plant a veggie plot at the top of my garden near the field and then inevitably most of it dies because I can't be doing with lugging water up there every day. But the other day, as we were removing the paving slab that covered the "manhole" to check on the spring, it occurred to me that I'd had fresh clean spring water running through my garden the entire 36 years I've lived here and that if I left the top off the manhole I could just dip my watering can in and bingo - no more lugging water around. It isn't deep (about 10 inches) and wouldn't be a risk to anyone because our gardens are not open to anyone else, so I spoke to my other neighbour and she just laughed and said to leave it open. You see, it hadn't occurred to them either that we could just dip into the spring water to water our veggie plots! (OLB x two)?

The Blue Grass Festival has come and gone again for this year, and while I didn't go down to town (too hot), I could hear most of the music from up in my village and very good they were too!

And finally, the other night I took time out to watch a video by another of my favourite Youtube channels - Early Retirement Wanderlust - and the husband, Richard, was attempting a one week, 90 mile hike in the Lake District. He was on his own this time as his wife had been caring for her mother, who was recovering from surgery, but as I was watching his progress it brought back great memories of my time as a kid in the Lake District. I had to be under 11 because I was still in primary school and I think my parents sent me away with the school because that was when my dad started having heart problems and they wanted me to have something of a holiday even if they couldn't. We stayed in a place called Patterdale Hall and for a little kid who had grown up in the inner city I just fell in love with it.

Patterdale Hall - a google image

I don't really remember all the hikes/walks we did but I do know we went over Helvellyn (the tallest mountain in the Lake District) and went over Striding Edge to get there!

Helvellyn, as accessed by Striding Edge!
A google image.

Looking back, I can't believe they took such young children on such a dangerous hike - but maybe it wasn't as dangerous as the pictures might suggest. Either way, we all came back in one piece and had a wonderful time! More to the point, I have such fond memories of the place that who knows, maybe I'll get to go back there at some point!

Ambleside, the Lake District - a google image

He also makes mention of wanting to stay in Black Sail Youth Hostel but being unable to as it was fully booked. On a later trip (when I was 15 I think), my friends and I went Youth Hostelling in the Lake District again - totally irresponsibly because I don't think any of us could read a map - and we did indeed manage to stay in Black Sail Youth Hostel. It was in the middle of nowhere and really tiny, so tiny, in fact, that rumour had it if you wanted to turn over in bed in the middle of the night you had to go outside and come in backwards. To be honest, from the memories I have of that place, that could actually have been true!

Black Sail Youth Hostel
- another google image!

Can you believe it's already August?

I can hardly believe it! Maybe it's because the last few months have been pretty "samey" or just so hot that all I wanted to do was flake out on the sofa - but seriously, how did August get here so fast? 

I continued to have many problems with my new computer, the main one being that I couldn't get Excel to work, not even to add just two numbers. It was driving me nuts because I was terrified of losing all the work I'd put in for the old fogies club, so I was having to work on my old computer (which wouldn't hook up to the internet), copy the files to a USB stick and then copy them back to my new computer, with the inherent risk of overwriting the wrong files. Eventually, after about three weeks, my old computer started hooking back up to the internet but I was still frustrated with the new one. Every time I tried to use Excel it would insist I use WPS and "you can do so by paying €XXX here"! I was really pissed off because I'd just renewed my Microsoft Office subscription and downloaded it to the new computer, so in the end I looked up exactly what WPS Office was. Turns out it is a "free, all-in-one productivity suite .... which serves as a lightweight and popular alternative to Microsoft Office". Well I don't know how popular it really is but once I deleted the bloody thing, guess whose computer works perfectly fine! Maybe I'm being haunted because I'm also finding that apps are disappearing off my phone too. For instance, I need the UBS app to log into my Swiss bank account and it just upped and poofed one day. About a week later I downloaded it again - and the old app popped back up so I ended up with two versions of it. Maybe it's because my phone insists I have run out of storage space, but who knows. Either way, I've just ordered a new iPhone 16 because I think my phone might be dying on me too, but at least I hung on a few years (from my iPhone 11) and the price has come down considerably!

I mentioned in my last post that I'd ordered a new UK passport and it was delivered about a week ago by DHL, but I was still getting messages from their main depot saying to come and pick up my parcel. I kept studiously ignoring the messages (because there was no telephone number for me to call them to find out what the package was), but as luck would have it my friend mentioned that she had to go out there (it's about 60 km from here) in connection with her late father's estate and she offered to pick up my parcel for me. How lucky was that because in all honesty I've only ever had to go there once in my 36 years in France, and the day I really need to dash out there, she's going anyway. Turns out it was my old, expired passport, so in the end I guess I should have taken it more seriously!

When I was getting a mani-pedi the other month, my lovely Thai lady asked if I wanted to try dyeing my eyebrows and lashes, what with the summer being here and "all that swimming you'll be doing". I didn't really care either way but thought I'd give it a go. It's actually time-consuming and the product stinks, but when she was finished I can't say I noticed much difference in my eyelashes, but oh my goodness, my eyebrows made me look like Groucho Marx! She coloured them to match my natural hair colour and since I've never gone grey it was quite a shock when I saw these two caterpillars crawling over my forehead. That being said, 24 hours later they look just fine and totally natural, but the thought of wandering round town looking like Groucho was not a funny prospect to me at all!

I'm still continuing with the Italian lessons (I'm very impressed with Duolingo) but the other day they did a complete lesson where we had to just listen to a normal speed conversation in Italian with no subtitles - and if that doesn't bring home to you how much you don't know, I don't know what will!

I picked up my new car the other Monday and once I got past the fear of the bloody computer, it's quite a pleasant drive, even if the trunk is very small compared to my old Ford. Still, all that lets me know is that I was carrying around too much clobber before, so it was definitely time to downsize! On the following Friday I was due to go on a day trip with the old fogies club but when I went to start my car nothing happened - zip, nada, zilch! I was really pissed off so called the garage where I'd bought it and they gave me the number of their assistance hotline. Before calling them I called Martine at the club and told them to go without me because my car had died, but she and her husband very kindly drove up to my village and picked me up. Not only were we not late but we were not even the last to arrive so I'm really grateful to them!

First stop was lunch on Lake Geneva (filet of perche, a local speciality) and it was very good, despite the usual mutterings of some of the more miserables. I said hi to Roger and he told me that obnoxious Chantal (she with the nice Portuguese partner) had managed to insult half the bus before they even arrived and then there was some muttering from people about one of our group who had stripped down to her swimsuit and dived straight into the lake for a splash around before lunch. Apparently she swims outside every day of the year and this was to be no exception. To be honest, I don't see what harm she was doing but then some people always have to find something to moan about don't they! Still these outings allow me to chat with some of the others in the group and I was quite pleasantly surprised by a much older lady (who I still consider to be a bit of a battleaxe) who turned out to be pretty good company, even if I wouldn't want to cross her. It tickled me when she asked about "my partner" and when I told her I didn't have one and nor did I want one she was quite shocked - couldn't understand the "I don't want one " part at all!

After that we travelled a couple of miles further along the lake to pick up our boat for a 90 minute trip on the lake!

Looking toward Montreux (the most
spectacular end of Lake Geneva)

One of the many beautiful properties
on the lake!

Looking back towards Evian
(where the bottled water comes from)!

When I got home, Martine's husband walked over to my car and pulled the driver's side floor mat waay back - and the car started! Just like that! Turns out they'd had the same problem with a rental car and the mat moving forward prevented you from fully depressing the clutch to start the car! Thank god it was nothing more serious than that (and I didn't get to look like a fool by calling out roadside assistance)!

After a couple of days off for good behaviour I had Charlie overnight again. The two grandmas have been taking it in turns to break up his week so that he is only in summer camp two days a week (even though he loves it). I had left my terrace awning out at one point when it started to rain, so when we got home I was showing Charlie how we had to push up on it with a broom so that the water didn't accumulate. Well he wanted to do it himself of course but was standing in exactly the wrong spot when he pushed up on the broom because he got what must have been a bucket load of water dropped right on his head. I thought it was hilarious (because I'm a bad grandma) and he laughed too, probably because it felt good in the searing heat), but I wish I'd had my phone to hand right then to preserve it forever!

On the Wednesday I suggested going to the mountains to get up to the cooler air (it wasn't cooler) but he whinged and whinged because he wanted to go swimming. In the end I told him I'd drop him off at the pool and see him when I got back from the mountains, so that soon shut him up! He got to take his first cable car up to Beauregard and was fine with it as long as I held his hand. We stayed up there for about an hour as he was fascinated watching the cows with their cowbells. Then it was back down the same way we'd come up in order to get another, smaller cable car up to a place where we could roll balls down various tracks and follow them back down to the village of La Clusaz where we'd parked the car. I have to say La Clusaz have done a great job of drawning the tourists in with summer activities, since it really is winter when they make their money. We ended up going to what would be the outdoor ice rink in winter and where they'd set up play areas for little kids for the summer. Charlie made a new friend and I got to sit down for a couple of hours out of the heat, so win/win all round!

La Clusaz

His first cable car ride!

Beauregard

I had him wave to people in the
cable cars coming the other way so
he would let go of my hand long
enough to get some blood flow back!

Playing roule ta boule!

In the evening we watched Jungle Book in French before he passed out and slept like a log. Next day I took him back to Vitamparc for the morning before going to pick Elynn up from daycare. He was as good as gold but I'm knackered! The following night they sent me a video of a family of wild boar (mother plus seven babies) wandering round the private park attached to their apartment building! The kids are on the second floor so they went down to the ground floor to warn the tenants there to be careful because obviously a mother with babies could be very dangerous. Jen called the local authorities who were going to come and move them further up into the forest for their and everyone else's safety!

The kids left yesterday afternoon for two weeks in Brittany, driving nine hours through the night to make it easier on the littles. Thankfully they arrived safely and I now have most of the month of August to myself - no sewing, no old fogies club and no overnighters. I was so tired I actually fell asleep for two hours yesterday afternoon and I never take nanna naps, so I guess I could use a break. Mind you, I reckon it won't be too long before I'll be chomping at the bit to get back to my usual routine either!

This and that!

The other Saturday my new-ish next door neighbours invited me and their neighbours on the other side over to their place for a BBQ to get to know each other better. It was a very pleasant evening and I think we're going to be very happy with them, even if I still miss my favourite neighbour. While we were chatting the wife mentioned how she'd had the "blank sheet of paper in the mailbox" scam again. I hadn't seen this but I knew what she was talking about. Apparently ne'er-do-wells put sheets of blank paper into mailboxes, but with just a small part sticking out. If that paper is still there, say, in a week, they know that the homeowner is most likely away and, I'm guessing, the home is ripe for the pickin'. My other neighbour was shocked when she heard this but I've heard of this scam doing the rounds for quite some time. I tell ya, what some people will do rather than get a job!

Bastille Day (14th July) came and went pretty much in a wet squib - not that it was wet but because our "fearless leader" had instigated a system of pre-registration and QR codes for anyone who wanted to be on the Champs Elysées to watch the annual parade. This restriction has never been applied before and was taken to the supreme court - who promptly shot it down on 13th July! There was much celebration until they found out on the morning of 14th July that a few phone calls were made and the QR code was reinstated! People were pissed and mostly chose to stay away and have their own Bastille Day celebrations away from Paris. To say the President is unpopular is probably an understatement but at least with the QR code there was no danger of anyone whistling and booing him! Earlier that week he had made a visit to a bunch of school kids wearing a gabardine coat (in 40°C weather!!!!) so people were surmising he was wearing heavy body armour underneath. I don't know if this is true or not but given that two bombs exploded near the hotel where he was staying in Syria recently, I'd guess he was somewhat nervous either way!

Last week I had a dentist's appointment in Geneva so drove to the Park n' Ride at the border to catch the bus into town. I'd already paid for my all day bus pass when I saw that the parking lot was closed with fire engines present, so I ended up driving into central Geneva to look for a parking place. I found one but man oh man was it noisy. My dentist is in central Geneva anyway but given that there were major roadworks going on (when aren't there?), the noise level was hell. It made me realize how glad I am to live in the countryside, even if it is often more than inconvenient! I was a bit surprised though to see three or four mattresses placed in the entrance way to the theatre opposite my dentist's, so I guess homelessness is not sparing Switzerland either!

I hadn't realized that my dentist now does teeth whitening and while she was poking around in my mouth she was chatting across me to her assistant (as they do) and mentioned that Mr. X (who was apparently next in line after me) should only have one more whitening appointment because "we don't want to be going for the Joe Biden look"! I started to laugh as I realized exactly what she meant so she had to pull her torture instruments out of my mouth before I choked!

While I was at the dentist's office I received a message from the UK passport office asking me to call them. Turns out it was nothing major but when he asked me for my address and I spelled it out for him in franglais he started telling me how he was going to France for his holidays in August and was hoping it wasn't going to be hotter than 25°C. I laughed and put him straight on that but we ended up spending about five minutes on my passport business and the next 15 talking about his upcoming holiday. That's fine with me because I'm happy to chat with anyone, but I have to say I've always found the passport people, just like the tax people, to be very pleasant and helpful!

I had Charlie overnight again on Wednesday and because storms were forecast I didn't take him up the mountains but rather to a water park near the border. He loved it and when the storm finally hit, we got to sit and watch it from the safety of the dome where the interior pools were located. It was quite something since the park is surrounded by mountains, it hadn't rained for about a month and the temperatures had been in the high 90s for a good few weeks. For about 30 minutes we had thunderbolts, lightening and hail but when it eventually passed the staff allowed everyone to go back outside. Charlie made friends with three youngsters of about 13 years of age who were really sweet with him, playing and encouraging him to jump in the pool - I was dead impressed with how kind they were. We got a bit wet on the way to the car, although nothing dramatic, but it made me recall the time, many years ago when I was a teenager, I was working my Saturday job in Birmingham city centre and waiting at the bus stop to go home. An older lady had obviously just been to the hairdressers and when it started to rain she pulled a shopping bag out of her purse and put it on her head! In retrospect I can't say I blame her (I mean, you wouldn't want your blue rinse getting spoiled would you) but she did look really funny all the same!

A google image from inside the dome - 
you're not allowed to take pictures, obviously!

When we got home we had dinner and then watched Toy Story, which Charlie loved, and then he passed out with me following on not long after. Next day we went grocery shopping and then to the pool at Bonneville. One of the lifeguards was really nice with the little kids and asked Charlie if he'd ever seen a fish swimming with his head sticking out of the water. When he said no, he told him then he needed to put his head in the water too! When he came up spluttering he pointed out that it might be a good idea to close his mouth at the same time as he "didn't want him emptying his swimming pool" all in one go! After that we stopped off at McDonalds (and now I know why I haven't been there since André moved out five-ish years ago - yuck) and on the way back to his house Jen called and asked if I could go pick Elynn up from daycare as she was running a fever! So I had to wake Charlie up, grab the stroller and walk back to daycare to get Elynn (who, it turns out has hand, foot and mouth disease and not scarlet fever like André's gf's little one). On the way back, Charlie was walking along a small wall when he fell off and banged his knee up! And again, I know why biology insists you have kids when you're young - I was knackered by the time we all got back home!

Anyway, all's back to relative normality now so I'm able to regroup a little. The Tour de France came through here on Sunday and I missed it, but as I was chatting with my neighbour he excused himself and said he was going in to watch it on TV - and that was when the power went out!!!! What with the World Cup being over (well done Spain) and the Tour de France getting hit by a power cut, I'm guessing there were a few unhappy French people in the village this weekend!

And finally, I got a notification from Netflix to say that The Grand Budapest Hotel would shortly be leaving so decided to watch it (over a couple of nights) as I had nothing better to do. And guess what, I really enjoyed it! It is incredibly silly but has a cast list to die for. I like Ralph Fiennes anyway, but to see him play the clown was really great and his new-to-me sidekick - young American actor Tony Revolori - was equally good at playing the buffoon, somewhat along the lines of the young Indian man in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel! So just for once it was nice not to be disappointed by whatever I'm watching and, as I say, I really enjoyed this movie - which came as somewhat of a surprise to me, little Miss Difficult To Please over here!

It's been another one of those weeks!

The weather here still hasn't broken despite the fact that they keep predicting rain. It's been incredibly hot, something which generally only starts around mid-July but it's been going on like this for over a month now. Tuesday is Bastille Day and I'm pretty sure many of the fireworks displays will be cancelled because everywhere is like a tinder box. They'll still go ahead in places like Annecy of course, because they have the lake, but I do hope people are sensible at private gatherings. As always I'm still on about three showers a day and feeling pretty lethargic, but in the end, as long as the essentials get done, does it really matter? I heard a strange puffing sound out back the other day and when I looked out my bedroom window they were inflating a bright red hot air balloon in the field behind me. Thinking I'd got time to have a quick shower I didn't take a photo immediately but when I got back to take a picture it'd already gone. Crikey, I didn't know they were that quick!

I had a phone call from the garage to say that my new car has already arrived and when did I want to pick it up? We've agreed on 20th July so that I can get the payment through tomorrow and have my insurance set up too. Thankfully I'm not so hot that I'm not on the ball though because when they sent me the final settlement figures I noticed that they hadn't taken into account the initial €1,000 I'd already sent them!! Anyway, I stopped in at the garage to drop off all the paperwork and decided to pop over the road to see what number the bus stop opposite was, just in case I had to drop off my car and leave it all day. While I was trying to figure out timetables with a Moroccan woman who was sitting there, it turned out that there were no buses that day (great - live in the country they said), so as it was hot I offered to drive her and her daughter home - after all, it couldn't be that far! Anyhow, we got chatting and I asked her how she'd ended up in Bonneville, and that was when she more or less gave me her life story about how she had to get her and her daughter away from her violent husband!! Crikey, I'd met this woman five minutes ago and it was only a 10 minute trip to her home, but in that short space of time we'd both agreed that she really had done the right thing to dump the guy and run!!! When I say people seem to end up telling me their life stories, as you can see, I mean it!

At the weekend the kids took the littles into Geneva for them to swim in the lake. I can't really say there is a "beach" on Lake Geneva (unlike many places in France) but everyone seemed to have had a great time all the same!

"Tonton" (uncle) André with Elynn
and his gf M with her little one!

Last Thursday I also took another day trip to the Jardins Pétrifiants in the Vercors. Because of strict distance regulations there are only so many km the drivers can cover in one day but luckily enough there seem to be quite a few interesting places in the local area anyway. The gardens were lovely but again it was very hot, so often uncomfortable. I met a couple of women who asked me if I'd been on the Lake Garda trip and as so often happens, you end up yacking away like old friends more often than not!

The above three are google
images because I just couldn't
do it justice with my iPhone!

After the gardens we stopped off at a lovely restaurant for lunch, although to be honest I wasn't keen on the food for once! Still, I didn't have to cook it and I certainly didn't have to wash up so I'm not complaining! I think the real reason we went to this restaurant though was because it was just a short walk down to the river, from where we could see the houses built into the side of the mountain and which are still inhabited!

After that we had a one-hour boat trip back to the gardens before making our way back home. Would I go there again - probably not - but was it worth the visit the first time - most definitely!

I began to notice that my computer had started playing up a little while ago, so quickly ordered a very cheap one from Amazon Germany "just in case" and man am I glad I did. I had to order from Germany because I've used a Swiss German keyboard for the last 40+ years and I couldn't find my way round a French keyboard to save my life. Anyway the other day my old computer decided it no longer wanted to hook up to the internet, so I had to quickly switch to the new one because I desperately did not want to lose all the work I'd done for the old fogies club. Problem was, my new computer didn't seem to like Excel, so I was hopping back and forth from one computer to the other and virtually pulling my hair out. After a few days of piddling around though it looks like I've got the new one up and running (and which I will back up on a regular basis) and I'm getting back to knowing where the French accents are! I suppose it's like anything new, it takes a while to get it figured out, but given that at the same time my A/C unit in the bedroom went on the blink and a few other things decided to die on me, I decided to take a couple of "sod it" days and just sit in the garden and read. Oddly enough, taking "sod it" days and/or just sleeping on it very often seems to solve the problem!

I've got Charlie overnight again on Wednesday and my lovely new neighbours (who invited both sides round for a BBQ last night) were telling me about the different kids' activities they'd been to today up at La Clusaz - my favourite ski resort. If everything works out I'll take him up on the cable car to the Plâteau de Beauregard but if it rains I guess it'll have to be the indoor swimming pool rather than the lake after that. All depends on the weather of course and if Charlie's up for the cable car (I don't think he's been in one before)!

Plâteau de Beauregard!

Oh, and just to make Dave jealous, the Tour de France is coming through here again in a few days. Well it always does come through here anyway, it's just a question of how close. I'll have to look it up and see if I can get up there to get some pictures!

And finally (and I have no idea why this popped up on my Youtube stream), there was a short video of a French committee meeting where a lady representing the Ecology Party was tabling an amendment to something or other. When the Chair tried to give her the floor he got a fit of the giggles and very soon the entire committee was in stitches. At first I couldn't see why it was so funny (although watching someone giggling helplessly is funny anyway), but it turns out Mrs. Ecology Party's name was Ms Woodburn (or Bruhlbois in French) - and everyone just collapsed laughing! Just for once it was worth watching a French committee meeting in action!